


Chronicles of the Enchiridion Part 1: One Small Spark

by Enchiridion88



Series: Chronicles of the Enchiridion [1]
Category: Adventure Time, Regular Show
Genre: Death, Enchiridion, Multi, Violence, Wrath of the Lich King
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-07
Updated: 2016-12-19
Packaged: 2018-03-29 10:00:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 17
Words: 31,346
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3892117
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Enchiridion88/pseuds/Enchiridion88
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Finn wonders what caused the terrible event known as the Mushroom War and why he's the only human left. A thousand years ago, a blue jay named Mordecai and Rigby the raccoon encountered mysterious, dark forces before the Mushroom War. They began to struggle with growing insanity as the world outside sat on the brink of destruction</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> This is a connection story between Adventure Time and Regular Show. This is not just a random cross-over, this story portrays both shows as if they are in the same universe and will try to offer origin stories to many Adventure Time items (the Enchiridion, the Mushroom War, Marceline, the Candy Kingdom, The Lich, and many more) as well as depict the end of the Regular Show. There is one major flaw that I have in this set of stories, but I have tried to explain its legitimacy to the fullest extent.
> 
> In regards to Adventure Time, everything passing and including "Blades of Grass" will not be included. Nothing after "Steak Me Amadeus" will be considered in regards to Regular Show. I apologize, but this story was started before those events and is now too large to change so drastically.
> 
> Enjoy!
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own Regular Show or Adventure Time, all rights are reserved by Cartoon Network. None of these characters or these items are owned by me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a connection story between Adventure Time and Regular Show. This story portrays both shows as if they are in the same universe and will try to offer origin stories to many Adventure Time items and the end of the Regular Show story, such as the Enchiridion, the Mushroom War, Marceline, the Candy Kingdom, and the Lich.
> 
> In regards to Adventure Time, everything passing and including "Blades of Grass" will not be included, except for the Stakes miniseries. Nothing after "Steak Me Amadeus" will be considered in regards to Regular Show. I apologize, but this story was started before those events and is now too large to change so drastically.
> 
> ::Rated T for this one, but later stories will be rated M::
> 
> Enjoy!
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own Regular Show or Adventure Time, all rights are reserved by Cartoon Network. None of these characters or these items are owned by me.

_Prologue_

"WOO! Now that's what I'm talking 'bout!" Finn exclaimed with childlike glee. "I haven't gone adventuring in weeks! Nothing clears your head of lady-bis like raiding dungeons, huh Jake?"

"Ughhh, yeah. Sure man..." Jake said with an unenthusiastic tone as he trudged behind his adoptive brother. Jake was just about beat. The two had shared five straight days of clambering through caverns, old ruins, and dungeons. He simply refused to understand how Finn had the energy to keep doing this junk. He figured there was something wrong with the blond haired boy, and this was the only way he could mask it. "I think I'll just go home and take a quick power nap..." he said with a yawn.

"Aww, what? But there's still so much-... Jake, do you see that?" Finn said as he stopped in his tracks, staring intently at the object.

"Why, what is it?" Jake asked but soon froze as well.

Before them sat a bomb, laying in the stump of a tree left over from the Mushroom War. Somehow, it hardly showed any sort of rust or decay. Whatever symbol was on the side made no sense to Finn whatsoever. Usually the bombs he did find were corroded and completely unrecognizable. But this one looked pristine, fresh off the ugh-... whatever this was shot from.

Finn walked towards it, almost enchanted with curiosity. Jake had notseen any in this good of quality either, which worried him. Jake extended his arm outward and halted his brother, "Hey! Come on Finn, don't get a case of the stupids."

"Relax man, I just want to get a better look at it. It'll be fine," Finn said reassuringly. Even from a distance, it was intriguing, every inch of it. The unfamiliarity of it all... the nature, it was simply... _human_. There was no other word for it. These old relics harkened back to a different time; a time drenched in mystery.

"It's a bomb. A BooOoaammmbbppp! Bombs explode. Come on, let's just head home, I think we're both a little tired anyway. I'll make us some of your favorite meatloaf," Jake reassured. What had gotten into that boy? First the whole Flame Princess ordeal, then the sword shenanigans, and now _this,_ whatever _this_ is.

Finn frowned in defeat as he reluctantly followed his friend.

Jake glanced to the sulking teen as they walked side by side. The sun was setting off in the distance to their right. The light emulated off of the boy. His shadow cast over Jake as he saw a faint silhouette of Finn. "Hey, bro. What's been up lately? You seem kinda down in the dumps," Jake followed, more concerned.

"Nothing much."

"Aww come on, Finn. Don't be lyin'. I can tell when you're lyin'!"

Finn sighed, "I'm sorry, I just wanted to know more about where my peeps are from. I mean I am the only human and all..."

Where did this come from? It had seemed like ages since Finn cared about those lousy humans. But why all of a sudden? Why now? Jake pondered this as he said, "Look, Finn, I know they're your peeps, but we're your peeps now. We're your family, dude."

"Yeah, okay..."

"But if you do get curious, just don't got chasing after bombs next time like a dufus. Okay?"

Finn replied in a lighter tone, "Hey!"

After a few minutes of walking, Finn finally asked the burning question, "Hey Jake... How did the Mushroom War start anyway?"

The bulldog simply shrugged as they continued on their walking.

This still left Finn pondering, "How did it start...?"

* * *

**_997 years earlier..._ **

Running.

Endless running.

A day's worth of exhaustion and regret left him tired. Hopelessly, he continued his unending sprint into nowhere. Though the dense underbrush of the forest clouded his view, he felt them getting closer. He felt them all around him. His instincts never failed him before. **_Bang._** Angry bullets rang out from behind and whizzed overhead like furious wasps. The rattle of the machine guns deafened all noise. Abandoned by his friends, by the people he loved, Rigby was completely and utterly alone; slowly being enclosed from all sides. Though for a short instance, he felt grateful for the forest of all places; the trees provided him cover every step of the way. The book urged him on, telling him exactly what Rigby needed to do. At this point, Rigby already knew what would come if he dared bend his will again...not like last time...

There was no option for him but to run, and just continue running. At once, his path was cut off by three of them. They leaped out in front of his path, MP5's at the ready. Rigby slid to a halt and he leaped to his right. The bullets pierced the ground where he previously stood as the terrified raccoon took off sprinting on all fours.

"Crap!" Rigby screamed. His path opened into a clearing with a cliff standing no more than fifty feet from the treeline. The drop was too high to jump down. By the time he had turned around, he was already surrounded. There was at least fifteen sentries, with more most likely following behind. _"You know what you need to do"_ whispered the book into his head. _"Why should you show them mercy? Let me in."_ NO! Not again! He promised himself he would never succumb to _HIM_ again.

They raised their muzzles to him, fingers on the trigger, their face masks shrouding their faces in a blank stare of death. He didn't have much time left. Rigby was in a panic. There was no way out. "Stand down and put your hands behind your head!" the voices yelled directed at Rigby. The hopeless raccoon knew he could not surrender, not like this. His handgun still sat holstered across his chest. He did not need to count to know that there were still at least four or five rounds left. That could count for little here, however. "LAST WARNING, STAND DOWN!" Rigby remained unyielding. Beads of sweat trained on his forehead as he waited for the inevitable.

He was holding back.

"OPEN FIRE!" Rifles cracked through the air. At last, Rigby was forced to lay a card on the table and make a move. In the split milliseconds, the green light encompassed his hands. He threw his arms to the ground in front of him. The glowing shield wall burst to life in front of him. His recently found power kept him alive. The rounds zipped and ricocheted off the green, glowing wall of dense, demonic fire. But this couldn't last for long. It was weakening, gradually fading with each shot. The already exhausted raccoon struggled to keep it formed. _  
_

" _Aren't you tired?"_ The voice was soothing. " _Aren't you tired, Rigby? ..._ _Let me in Rigby."_ At this point _He_ was right: there was no real choice. Rigby let go... and The Lich took control...

* * *

_**Two months earlier** _

"Dude, I'm totally going to go through with it tonight!" Mordecai said excitedly to Rigby...


	2. What's With the Back?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for the slow start. It will build over time.

Nothing could be better for Mordecai. It seemed that the world opened every door for him. For once, everything in his life was in order. His job was stable, his friends were there for him, and he had the most astounding girlfriend on the planet. It had been a year since he and Margaret began going out. Nothing could be better for him. Nothing could go wrong.

"Dude, I'm totally going through with it tonight!" Mordecai said excitedly to Rigby.

"Pfft, that's what you've been saying for the last week... and the week before... and the week before," the raccoon replied.

"I know, I know, but tonight is going to be the night. It's our anniversary. That's, like, the most romantic night possible," Mordecai replied.

"You keep saying that, but it never happens. This is turning out longer than the time it took to finally kiss her. And what even makes you think she's going to say yes? It's only been a year man," Rigby said pessimistically.

"She's got to, she's got to..." Mordecai said silently to himself. It's true, they had been dating for only a year, but Mordecai felt that what they had was beyond special. So special that he was willing to risk everything, their entire relationship, for one question.

"Maaaan, why does Benson have to make US clean the boats! It's like THE worst job in the park!" Rigby groaned and complained.

"Dude, just stopped complaining. I hate this as much as you, but it's got to get done. Let's just do this as quickly as possible." Mordecai replied

"Why?" Rigby said, now with a cheesy tone in his voice, "So get to your daaaaattteeee?"

"Dude shut up!" Mordecai responded as he playfully nudged the weak raccoon. Rigby tried to push him back, but Mordecai barely moved an inch. Shaking his head, he said "Dude, when was the last time you worked out? Seriously. Now come on man, help me finish"

Rigby got a running start this time, he _hated_ being made fun of. It happened so often that he was outright hostile if anyone tried to joke with him. He thought it was time to prove that he was the strong one after all. The running start was enough to do it, Rigby sent Mordecai flying off the dock into the lake. "Hmmm hmm hmm, now who's the weaker one?" Rigby said triumphantly with his arms crossed.

"Dangit Rigby," Mordecai thought to himself underwater, "Always such a..." Something had caught his attention, he lost his train of thought. He heard what sounded like whispers. Something in the water was pulling him in. Everything seemed so... cloudy. The blue jay felt an overwhelming sense of disparity and a lack of drive. Just then, Mordecai saw what appeared to be a brown book bag resting at the bottom of the lake. "What the heck?"

Mordecai swam down to it and grabbed one of the straps. He tried tugging on it, but the bag hardly budged. Then he remembered where he was, he started to feel his lungs tightening. He tried to leave the bag and swim back up, but something stopped him. There was something almost pleading about the bag, imploring him to stay. Despite being underwater, there grew a deafening white noise. Mordecai was losing air quickly, yet every fiber in his being forced him to stay, to sink downwards. Everything faded as he slipped under.

* * *

He woke up, coughing and spitting out water. His vision blurred; he could see himself being dragged out of the water. "Dude, are you okay?! Come on Mordecai, say something!" Rigby said frantically as he looked over his friend. Mordecai could see Rigby was exhausted and out of breath. Rigby could swim, quite well in fact, but even he had a hard time getting Mordecai out of the lake.

Mordecai coughed heavily, "Yeah, I'm fine. Thanks for that."

"Forget it, like it never happened. Dude I am so sorry, I didn't-"

"It's okay man. Like you said: 'forget it'" It wasn't until then that he realized that he was still holding on to the bag. He found himself gazing at it strongly. There was something attracting about it. No no no, it wasn't _the bag,_ it was what was _inside_ the bag. But just what was inside? _"Mordecai...Mordecai..."_ He could hear it, something, calling to him...

"...Mordecai ...Mordecai!" It took Mordecai a minute to snap out of it and notice his friend trying to get his attention. "Dude, are you alright?" Rigby asked, concerned.

"Ye-yeah, I'm fine. A little shaken, but I'm fine." Mordecai said, but he didn't seem to believe it himself. Rigby on the other hand was content with the answer.

"Dude, what's with the bag?" Rigby asked.

"I-I'm not sure, I just, I don't know..." This just confused Rigby even more. He curiously tried to reach out for the bag. Mordecai spotted this and yanked the book out of Rigby's reach. "Dude, finder's keepers" Mordecai said with a smirk. What just happened left both of them shaken, he had to at least _try_ to lighten the mood up.

"Hey, I saved your life!" Rigby said pointing his finger at Mordecai.

"You said 'Forget it, like it never happened'" Mordecai slyly replied, the biggest grin on his face.

"UGGGGHHHH, dude just let me see it!"

"Later."

"Wha-"

"I said not now!"

The raccoon stood there a moment, startled by his friend's sudden hostility. For those brief seconds, it was like he was a completely different person. Rigby shook his head and headed the other direction saying, "Whatever. Just come on and help me clean the stupid boats"

Rigby was already running ahead. "Yeah I'll be there in a minute!" Mordecai called back. He took one last inspection of the bag. Simon... The inside of the flap bore the printing, " _This bag is property of Simon Petrikov. If found please return to..."_ The last part of the inscription was faded away. But how did it get to the bottom of the lake? And who was this Simon?

Mordecai opened it and looked inside. It was completely dry. But how was that even possible?

All there was inside was a crown, a book, and a couple VHS tapes...

* * *

"Come on, man! You have to know something about the Mushroom War."

"Dude, I already told you, no one knows what happened. Almost every record was destroyed. Not to mention, who even cares about a bunch of smelly humans? No offense," Jake said as he entered the tree house with his adopted brother, Finn.

Finn called out, "Beemo, we're home!"

The aforementioned robot sat sitting facing the window with a miniature tuxedo on and covered in poorly done make-up. A trail of lipstuck haphazardly covered its mouth. The eye shadow was unspeakably messy and the poor bot's face was almost exclusively black.

"Hey Beemo," Finn said, oddly undisturbed by the awful catastrophe on the living bot's face, "What's with the fancy getup?"

"Ohh, Finn. I was just teaching Football here how to be beautiful and ask out everyone to the ball," Beemo replied as he turned back to his reflection in the window.

"Hmm, that's ba-nah-nahs. Well, good luck!"

"Thank you Finn. Now Football, you have to be careful with the eye-liner. Apply it carefully, like this!" _**Screech**_ Beemo made a massive slash across his face with the pencil.

The reflection replied back, "You mean like this?" Another terrible streak was made.

Finn came to the kitchen to see Jake working over his stove. He already had a pan of meatloaf sitting in the oven. Meanwhile, he worked on an appetizer for them.

"Hmmm..." Jake pondered to himself. The master chef picked up a can of whipped cream. He sprayed it all over a pan which he then placed over the stove. Immediately the cream liquefied before turning a caramel brown, then burning. "Ooooooooww." This was new. He then added some macaroni without the cheese.

"Hey Jake," Finn said, "So you don't think anyone here has any idea about the Mushroom War?"

"Argh, this again? Finn: let it goooooooooooooo. Take it out of your mind. You don't want it to fester up, do ya? The last thing we need is some festering up in here."

Finn nervously objected, "Whaaat? _Psshhttt. Pssssssssssssshhhhhttt._ Come on Jake, I'm just curious. That's all. Just want to know 'bout my peeps. You catching my lingo?"

"I guess..."

"Actually, I was gonna head out and talk to Peebubs about it."

"But what about meatload night?" Jake whined.

"Just save me piece for breakfast."

Finn was about to hop down the ladder when Jake stopped him, "Finn... you still messed up over that Flame Princess biz?"

Finn darted his eyes, "Heheh, come on man. You know me better than that."

The pan caught fire but neither of them really cared. Jake waved, "See you later. Just come back eventually!"

Finn left the confines of the tree house. "Hmmph. He's the one janked up. I don't understand what's so bad about learning about humans. Well, might as well check with PB. She's like a hundred gillion years old. She's got to know what's up."

Our young hero ventured his way to the Candy Kingdom. As he entered the palace, he was surprised with what he found. Inside, every princess was there in their pajamas with mattresses all over the floor. They were giggling until they saw Finn.

"Uhhh, Princess Bubblegum?" Finn asked.

Lumpy Space Princess started, "Ugh! What is he freaking doing here? This is, like, killing my mojo!"

"Finn, what are you doing here? This is the annual weekly royal princess sleepover. Only princesses allowed," Princess Bubblegum said wearing her pokadot pajamas.

"Fear not princesses, I didn't come to ruin your party. I just wanted to ask PB a question."

She smiled, "Oh, and what would that be Finn?"

"Well... I was wondering... Do you have anything about the Mushroom War?"

PB was a little shocked at the seriousness of the question but switched her demeanor, "I'm sorry Finn. I haven't found any records about the War itself. And the ruins that are left out there are too dangerous; remember what happened to James?"

He seemed let-down, "Yeah, I understand. What about you P-Bubs? Do you personally remember anything?"

"I-pt-ugh, Finn, I'm sorry but you have been here too long and need to go."

"But-!"

Before Finn could object, Muscle Princess grabbed him and gave him a firm kick. He crashed through a nearby window.

"Auf Wiedersehen!" She said bubbly to mid-air Finn before turning back to the others, "Now who's ready for the grand pillow cage deathmatch?!"

He landed hard into the bushes outside. Finn took a moment to brush off the dirt and grass. "Lousy princesses," he muttered.

"Yeah, tough crowd isn't it?"

Sitting in the bushes with him was the Ice King with a pair of binoculars. He did not even look back at Finn as his eyes were still on the party.

"Ice King? What the flump?"

He explained, "Look, I've tried to get into their party every year and they always kick me out! Lousy, no good, sexy hating... Anyway, what's up in your head noodle?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mmmeeeaaannn that you don't look right Finn. Something going on? You're not still sore about that demon princess are ya?"

Finn frowned, "It's Flame King now, and no. I'm not!"

"Hmph, good. She's a crazy psychopath even by my standards... Care to join me?"

Finn crouched alongside the Ice King. Maybe he would know something? Finn spoke, "Ice King...? Do you, happen to remember anything about the Mushroom War?"

"No Finn, I don't. Heh, lucky too. Must've been terrible to live through! Bunch of chumps."

"But-! You did live through it!"

Ice King was shocked, "WHAT?! And nobody told me?! How was I supposed to know?"

Finn groaned, "I'm going to find someone else who knows."

"Good luck, Finn," Ice King said without even looking at the boy, "Hmm, come to think of it, is there anything I can remember? Well, it's probably not that important anyway. Still, I can't shake this feeling in the back of my head..."


	3. This Road Leads to Nowhere

_Dear Mordecai,_

_T̶̷h̶̷e̶̷s̶̷e̶̷ ̶̷p̶̷a̶̷s̶̷t̶̷ ̶̷f̶̷e̶̷w̶̷ ̶̷m̶̷o̶̷n̶̷t̶̷h̶̷s̶̷ ̶̷h̶̷a̶̷v̶̷e̶̷ ̶̷b̶̷e̶̷e̶̷n̶̷ ̶̷u̶̷n̶̷b̶̷e̶̷a̶̷r̶̷a̶̷b̶̷l̶̷e̶̷.̶̷_ _I can't begin to put into words how hard this has been on both of us. Lately I can see the strain you must surely be facing; through your words, your actions...No one can blame you for how things have turned out. But I can feel a singe of pain every time you give me that dead stare or whenever you mutter over my name until something jogs your memory. I can feel you moving further and further away and no matter how hard I try, I can't seem to pull you back._

_The truth is Mordecai,_

He stopped. Beside him sat the little girl keeping him alive as much as he protected her. She rested with her head on his knee. He could feel her light breathing and her slow heartbeat as she slept.

They were alone. They had been alone for a while now. He almost forget her name if it weren't for the letter he found slipped through the contents of his bag.

Mordecai looked at the unopened letter. He squinted to read just the first paragraph through the envelope through the dim light of the fire. His hand moved to tear it open and read the rest, to know what she was feeling, what she was thinking. He ached inside.

But he knew that if he slipped inside that note, he might not come back out.

* * *

Mordecai could feel his palms sweat as an unfelt chill crept up his back. It was his one year anniversary with Margaret. It was a hassle just to make the reservation, let alone build the courage just to plan this event. The restaurant was an old bistro with a satin floor and an overall elegant atmosphere. Rigby sat at a table on the other end of the room with Eileen. He was completely disinterested in her as he kept his attention fixated on his friend. Eileen was in on the surprise, and though she enjoyed Rigby's enthusiasm, she simply wished he could spent a little time with her.

"Wow..." Margaret said as she gazed around the restaurant. "I could have just settled for like a movie or something-"

"Y-You-Really?"

"Yeah, I mean you really didn't need to go out the way."

"You don't like it? C-Cause we can like go out to, uh, mini golf or-or-or-"

Margaret reassured him, "No, it's perfect. I mean just, wow..."

"Aha-...Yeah..."

Mordecai was sweating, badly. He loosened his collar and turned to Rigby who gave him a thumbs up.

With a stuttering excuse and knocking his chair on its back, Mordecai rushed to the bathroom. Rigby, fearing for his friend, followed suit. the avian was washing his face "I can't do it man! What if she says no? What if I do something embarrassing? Like I didn't think of anything cool or interesting and I'm plain and boring and-"

Rigby slapped him across the face, though rather pitifully. "Snap out of it man! Now you are going to go in there and you are going to do what you came here to do!"

"But-"

"NO! Just do it already!"

Mordecai and Rigby leaned their heads out of the doorway into the men's room and looked at Margaret across the room. She was preoccupied checking her phone while further ahead Eileen hid behind her menu. She crept out behind her menu and began signaling the two boys. Her hands moved in complicated motions, describing, in detail, all that was happening and questioning why the two were not back already.

_"WHAT?!"_ Rigby motioned with his mouth.

Eileen tried again, using American Sign Language this time, thinking that it would somehow help. The two just stood dumbfounded. Rigby then replied, in confusion, by holding his left hand vertically in the air. With his right index finger, he poked into the center of his left palm and began rotating it back and forth.

Eileen grabbed her forehead in frustration and just blatantly started pointing at Margaret. She ducked behind he menu when the aforementioned Robin looked in her direction. _"Ooooooh,"_ he mouthed back. "Welp, now or never. Come on Mordecai."

"No. Just let me stick my head in the toilet and die."

"That's great," Rigby said as he moved to Mordecai's backside, "Now come on!" He began pushing the bluejay out.

"Dude, what the H?"

"Let's go!"

"No-dude-Stop pushing!"

They awkwardly fumbled their way closer and closer to the table. Meanwhile, Margaret gawked at the menu, "Five bucks for a lousy thing of bread? Really?" She was surprised by the sudden commotion to her left. "Oh, hey Mordecai and...Rigby...Hey-ey-ey... _whatareyoudoinghere?_ "

"Uhhh," the two reacted. "Welp, you're on your own. Rigby out!" The raccoon then dove backwards across the adjacent table, spilling everything onto the floor in a loud crash.

"UHHHHHH..." Mordecai continued, now more terrified.

"Mordecai, what's going on?"

He breathed deeply and began, "Okay, so like, uhm, Margaret, we've been dating for like, a whole year now and that's been pretty cool. Yeah we had a rough start, like when I thought you cheated on me with your cousin and I went out with that cloud chick or the time we were in your apartment and let out a giant truth monster-"

"Wait, what?"

"Uh, nothing. Or the time we-" Eileen ran halfway across the dining hall until she was right behind Margaret. She was frantically motioning for him to cut it short for being an idiot. "Well, you get the point. But this has been the greatest year of my life. I love you so much, even before we started dating," Mordecai got on one knee, Margaret gasped. "So, like, do you want to get married or something?" Mordecai said as he pulled out a ring.

Margaret chuckled before replying, "Yes dude! Yes!" She hugged Mordecai and kissed him briefly as the other diners cheered. Rigby and Eileen slouched to the ground to catch their breath from the sheer awkwardness and second hand stress.

It was the happiest moment of Mordecai's life.

* * *

Later that night, the events at the restaurant finally had to come to an end. Rigby and Eileen went home a separate way, leaving Mordecai to drive Margaret home.

"Well here we are..." Mordecai said as he put the car into park outside of Margaret's apartment. He turned his head as Margaret immediately pressed her beak to his. Mordecai's heart began to race, he hadn't been this nervous yet excited since their first kiss.

"I love you Mordecai" Margaret said as she hugged her soon to be life-long partner.

"I love you too Margaret" Mordecai replied back. This was it for him. This was what he had always wanted for the past three years: Margaret's undying love.

As Margaret began to get out of the car, Mordecai said, "Wait! Let me walk you to your apartment." Mordecai got out and ran over to his love. He swiped the keys off of her and proceeded to open the door. "After you, your highness," comically said Mordecai as he bowed while Margaret walked through the door.

Margaret chuckled at this corny chivalry as she replied, "Ah, a real knight in shining armor. What's next are you going to swipe me off my feet?"

"You know that actually gives me an idea" said Margaret's new fiance before he quickly lifted her up at her waist and threw her over his shoulder. Margaret playfully struggled, but it was no use. Mordecai plopped Margaret down on her couch, but she pulled him down on top of her.

They both broke out into a fit of laughter. "That's so bad-ha-ha-ha. Oh my... _hah_...Don't you have somewhere to go?" Margaret challenged. The smirk on her face said everything that was on her mind.

"Benson said he could give me the day off tomorrow" Mordecai replied slyly. The laughter died down and the couple was left locking eyes with one another. The tension was heavy in the air. They stayed in each other's arms until morning came.

* * *

The following night, the guys at the park threw a party for the newly-engaged couple. The party was not anything special special, it was just a small get together in the house living room. But it was, in everyone's opinion, a better party than any other thrown at the park. There was a personal touch to it; it was genuine.

Of course, it kept some of the typical hallmarks; mountain of pizzas, a shirtless muscle man, noise complaints from the police, and the living room still miraculously looking as though a herd of buffalo charged through it.

The party dragged on for some time though and gradually its participants wore down. Benson went to office to finish last minute reports while Pops went to bed and everyone else gradually left. Eventually only Rigby, Eileen, Mordecai, and Margaret were left. Mordecai and Margaret were sitting over by the couch together. Feeling the awkwardness in the air, Rigby retreated to the kitchen to get another soda. "That was some party, huh?" Eileen said to Rigby, startling him for a moment. He hadn't expected her to follow him.

"Oh, yeah. Sure, i guess," Rigby replied impartially. "We have to work out those signals, though! Like, what was even going on back there?"

"I'm just curious as to what this was," Eileen replied while pulling the awkward finger-palm gesture from the previous night.

"Ughhh, shut up!" Rigby groaned.

"It's crazy, huh? Our best friends... getting married... taking _the next step_ " Eileen said to Rigby as she inched closer towards him. Maybe there was enough magic in the air from Mordecai and Margaret to go around?

"Sure I guess, but come on Eileen, personal bubble here. Breaking it. Hello." Maybe not.

She knew she was losing Rigby's attention. At this point she was just desperate to keep the conversation alive. "Well, ha- have you been having a good ti-"

"WOAH DUDE!" Rigby exclaimed as he picked up the book bag Mordecai had found in the lake. He had just left it in the kitchen. Rigby was about to search its contents, but he thought it better to have Mordecai show everyone what HE had saved his life for with a heavy emphasis on the _saving his life_ part.

"What is it?" Eileen questioned. But it was no use. Rigby had already ran back into the living room, leaving Eileen standing alone in the kitchen. She sighed and followed after him.

"Dude, you still never showed me what was in this!" Rigby exclaimed as he slammed the heavy bag onto the coffee table. A loud bang erupted from this which startled both Mordecai and Margaret.

"What is that?" Eileen asked as she entered the room.

Rigby answered, beaming with pride, "Yeah, Mordecai, what did I save your life for?" with a smirk.

Mordecai got up and bumped Rigby out of the way, "Yeah, sure. Whatever you say Rigby."

Rigby crossed his arms, "Hmmm Hmmm Hmmm"

"Any way, I found this bag of junk at the bottom of the lake."

"Oh. Wooooow. The excitement you guys have in your lives is unbearable," Margaret sarcastically teased.

"Yeah, but I was looking inside earlier and I found this!" Mordecai said as pulled out the object in question. It was a three pointed gold crown with encrested rubies on it.

There was a unanimous murmur of "Woah's" coming from the other three.

"Dude, that's awesome! You could sell it and make like tons of money!" Rigby yelled excitedly.

"Dude, we don't even know what it is. It could like really old and really valuable."

Eileen interjected, "Or it could just be a pyrite copy that would actually be worth only a couple of-"

"OR we could make tons of money and go to space or something!" Rigby yelled excitedly. "WO-OOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" Mordecai and Rigby said in unison.

" _Put it on."_ It was never so much a voice that spoke. It was something more subtle. There was just this wave, this idea that shot through Mordecai's head. " I should probably try it on," Mordecai concluded out of nowhere.

He instantly broke his laughter and, just like that, lifted the crown and put it on his head.

* * *

Mordecai blinked his eyes open. He swore that all he did was blink an eye. But the crown is always unkind on its first visit.

Mordecai looked around. There was snow all over the living room floor, the couch was torn in the middle. The crown had fallen onto the floor. The was a pounding in the side of Mordecai's face and into his chest. He turned to see Rigby holding a baseball bat in a position as if he had just swung. That wasn't all, Rigby was shaking with a terrified look in his eye. Mordecai turned to see Eileen against the wall, almost cowering in fear. This activity had also alerted the others in the house as Benson and Pops stood on the stairs, stunned at what had occurred.

But that was far from the worst part. Margaret was staring at her lover with a deep discontentment on her face. There was a cut on the side of her face and a look that seemed to shun him.

"What happened?" Mordecai asked, now worried and as discomforted as the rest. No response. "What happened?!"

Margaret simply shook her head and walked out the door as tears began to fall from her eyes with Eileen behind her. "Margaret! Wait!"

Mordecai began to motion towards her, but Rigby grabbed his arm to stop him. "Dude, you do not want to make things any worse for yourself. Just let it go."

Mordecai yanked his arm free and proceeded forward. Once again, Rigby tried to stop him, but this time Mordecai punched Rigby right in the cheek, knocking him to the ground. "MARGARET!" He screamed again. "Oh my gosh, _oh my gosh_ , oh no, oh no oh no oh no." Mordecai was on the porch but it was too late, Margaret had already driven off. "What happened!?" He asked again to the three staring at him.

Rigby could taste the blood in his mouth. "I...I don't even know..."

Mordecai was in a fret. His fiance, the love of his life, was gone...just like that. He was light headed and his temples were constricting and pressing against the sides of his head. He retreated up to his room and locked the door.

Rigby was about to follow but Benson stopped him. "Let him be alone for now," Benson said to Rigby. He went over to pick up the crown. His attitude was not the same as usual. Benson picked up the crown, "I'm going to show this to Skips tomorrow. If there's anyone who knows what to make of this, it's him." He looked around. He sighed saying, "Rigby: clean up this mess, you know... or you're fired..." Benson walked out.

Rigby was all alone in the living room now, still in shock. He took a minute to gather everything that happened in.

Rigby.

"Who said that?" Rigby responded. There was no one else in the room, and he knew he heard something. "It's okay, just in your head. Just get back to work" Rigby thought to himself. But something caught the corner of his eye for a second. It was the book bag, still in the corner.

Rigby walked over to it, not knowing what to expect from it. He knew this was a stupid idea, but a force drove him forward.

He opened it up and looked inside. He could not believe his eyes. Inside was perhaps the lamest looking book he ever saw in his life. There was a sword on the cover adorned with a vine of grapes on the left and a skull and crow on the right. It seemed like something straight out of the Realm of Darthon. However, this one looked old, very old.

Rigby read aloud "The Enchiridion, the Book of Dark Magic..."

**::Yes I know the Enchiridion in Adventure Time is the "Book of Heroes"::**


	4. Black Water

In the empty void, the spirit of the Key-per entered. "Oh-my-this-place-hasn't-aged-a-day!" He said in his usually quickened speed. All around was a crushing, empty blackness. "I-LOVE-what-you've-done-with-the-place-10,000-years-trapped-here-and-not-much-has-changed-Haha-Mr.-Lich-if-that's-what-they're-calling-you-these-days-Can-I-call-you-something-more-homely-like-Bert?-I-like-Bert-You-like-Bert?"

Two green eyes peered from the blackness.

"Haha-I-guess-the-Lich-works-just-fine-You-don't-talk-much-do-you?-Of-course-you-don't-So-it's-been-about-986-years-four-months-eighteen-days-thirteen-hours-and-2360-seconds-since-the-last-time-you-stretched-your-legs-give-or-take-a-few-years-and-even-longer-since-I-visited-even-though-it-is-my-job-after-all-I-guess-I-won't-get-employee-of-the-millennium-ahahaha!"

The demon peered out, silent.

"Okay-so-just-taking-a-look-around-and-guessing-you-want-to-go-back-into-work-especially-since-the-last-guy-was-a-bust-You've-got-the-sappy-blue-jay-kid-but-he's-sort-of-a-wreck-and-a-no-go-and-an-idiot-raccoon-who-you-shouldn't-bother-with-I-don't-think-he-gets-anything-but-there's-this-gumball-machine-Jeez-I-can't-believe-I'm-saying-these-things-I-must-sound-ridiculous-Do-I-sound-ridiculous?-I-probably-sound-ridiculous-Fat-guy-you-can-pass-but-the-yeti-character-is-quite-an-interesting-fella-whom-I-think-"

_"You can bring me the boy."_

"Aha...Ahem...Y-You-sure?"

_"You can bring me the boy."_

"Mr.-Lich-I-don't-tell-you-how-to-do-your-job-but-a-chance-like-this-comes-out-in-maybe-"

_"You can bring me the boy."_

"I-I-can-arrange-a-one-time-attention-grabber-and-get-you-closer-and-that's-all-I-can-do-but-other-than-that-it's-up-to-you-and-since-you're-powers-are-kind-of-horribly-weak-in-here-and-I-don't-think-he-"

_"You can bring me the boy."_

"Are-"

_"You can bring me the boy."_

His voice resonated throughout the empty abyss, shaking and quivering the dead air. Each word echoed louder and louder as his eyes stared deathly at the spirit before him.

_"You can bring me the boy."_

_"You can bring me the boy."_

_"You can bring me the boy."_

"Hmmmmmmmmmm-okay-I'll-stick-around-for-that-then-it's-goodbye-for-another-2396-years-or-so-It's-your-funeral-after-all-See-Ya!"

The demon rested as his being faded back into nothingness.

_"WOAH DUDE!" Rigby exclaimed as he picked up the book bag Mordecai had found in the lake. He had just left it in the kitchen. Rigby was about to search its contents, but he thought it better to have Mordecai show everyone what HE had saved his life for...  
_

* * *

Whatever this was, it looked horrendous. He simply had to check if amount of ironic humor enclosed in this book was unimaginable. This was going to be the most cringe-worthy, laughable experience of the night. Rigby needed something to calm himself down from before. He simply had to read it.

This was going to be terrible, atrocious. He simply had to read it.

Since Mordecai was probably balling his eyes out in their room, Rigby decided the kitchen was the best spot to crack open this cheesy book. "Jeez, even I can do better than this!" he gawked at the cover. It was so corny and cheap. He simply had to read it.

He simply had to read it.

He re-opened to the first page, no problems this time. It was completely blank, except for a single paragraph written in the middle of the page. He read quietly to himself.

_"There is no fate for that which we do not make for ourselves."_ _It is this belief that drives man through its darkest hour and through the unknown abyss. They ignorantly live believing their actions reflect upon the world though they may be nothing more than a brick in an endless wall, frozen in place alongside millions like it and serving a single purpose forever._ _The true deliverance comes with knowing the truth. Nothing belongs to ourselves. Everything is artificial cycle endlessly encompassing all that exists. When this becomes fully realized; there is no fear, no longing, no remorse. You, Rigby, will learn this on your own soon enough."_

If Rigby wasn't scared before, he was terrified now. "It knows my name, how the H does it know my name?!" He closed the book and threw it to the corner of the room. What on earth should he do? Get rid of it? Take it to Skips? He sat there as the minutes rolled by, staring at it. It

Eventually, Rigby's mind faltered and slowed. He eventually narrowed down what he was going to do. He heard something, maybe in his own head, but it was definitely something:  _"What are you waiting for_ ,  ** _open it..."_**

Rigby knew what he was doing, how wrong this could lead. He was frantic, nervous, scared, excited, terrified, a million things running through his head at once. Knots in his stomach, a pounding on his head, all happening at once...And Rigby was enjoying it all...

* * *

Page by page Rigby dived through the book. He didn't know why he had been afraid earlier. "'Magic' give me a break. Most chump book I've ever read!" Rigby claimed. What "spells" the book did have had the stupidest names believable with, according to Rigby, chump drawings to go alongside. "I could make a better book in my sleep!" Cover-to-cover, Rigby blew threw it in less than an hour, ironically one of the only books he actually read that year. But something seemed to still be attracting him to the book.

He hardly believed this book was anything special...but then again...after all the supernatural encounters he's had over the years at the park, and what just happened to Mordecai...Deep down he knew this was legit, the real deal. He just did not want to admit it to himself.

"Okay, just one spell. That's it, just one. Then I'll give this to Skips." He quickly flipped through the book. "Come on, give me a good one." There! There was no name to it, but the illustration looked cool. Fire from your hands? What could be cooler?!

Now the problem was trying to figure out how to work this stupid thing. Well, in the movies they always cleared their minds or something like that. So, Rigby headed that sound logic and tried to clear his mind, unsuccessfully.

_"You know what to do."_

Rigby snapped up. He knew he heard something this time. It was not from his own head. "Who's there?" Rigby called out. There was no response.

He turned back to the book.

He concentrated, trying to clear his mind. He closed his eyes. The image depicted someone bringing their arms down to produce a ball of fire. He tried to replicate it, snapping his arm and wrist downwards. He tried over and over producing only a snapping sound with his fingers.

He tried to focus his mind and concentrate on something. Yet, a million images were jammed into his subconscious. He could not describe them, they were cague shapes and colors, but he knew how it made him feel: Angry. For some reason, the front of his head surged as he felt himself bottling up. He snapped and brought down his wrist again.

A sudden woosh of a type of green like fire appeared from the palm of his hand. It was barely warm, and was almost cool to Rigby's touch. "This is awesome!" Rigby yelled. Indeed it was the coolest thing he had seen. This was until it began to grow. It grew without control. The flame was getting bigger and bigger and bigger, absorbing his whole hand. "NOT AWESOME!" He tried shaking it off to no avail. He was panicking now, "GET OFF OF ME!" He flicked his arm downward, and the fireball flew from his hand.

"Oh shi-!" The fire ball slammed against the wall, making a small  _poof_  of fire. It was enough though to catch the wall. "Oh crap, oh crap, oh crap, oh crap!" Rigby was frantically saying to himself as he went for the fire extinguisher. As quickly as he could, he put the fire out, but the fire alarm over the sink still went off. "Goddammit!" he screamed as he quickly turned the alarm off.

"RIGBY!" Benson screamed from upstairs. Benson did not even have to see what happened to know who caused the alarm. He was already on edge from before, but now...

Rigby was frantic. He couldn't let them find the book. He threw the book into the first cupboard he could find. "Come on Rigby, make up a story, a scene, an excuse. You're good at this!" he muttered to himself. He grabbed an armload of random cooking equipment and threw it on the counter. By the time he turned around Benson was already at the door, his face blood red, with Pops behind him.

"WHAT DID YOU DO? LOOK AT WHAT YOU DID TO THE WALL! THERE'S A HOLE IN THE MIDDLE OF IT! YOU DIDN'T EVEN CLEAN THE LIVING ROOM!" Benson screamed at Rigby.

Almost too nervous to answer, Rigby replied, "I was hungry, so I-I-I was making a quick snack"

"At the oven... 10 feet away from the burn spot..." Benson remarked. The cooking equipment was all over the place with some bowls and pans lying on the floor.

Rigby could only shrug his comments off.

"Rigby, I can't  _believe_  you sometimes!" Rigby was wincing his eyes, waiting for the inevitable. "RIGBY, YOU'RE FI-"

"Benson!" Pops finally intervened, "Rigby has been improving over the past year. It was an honest mistake...wasn't it Rigby?" Pops said as he glared at Rigby. Even Pops was getting tired at times of covering Rigby's mistakes.

"Yeah, totally! It was an honest mistake! You can take it out of my pay-check if you want to."

Benson was now being opposed by both Rigby AND Pops now. Rigby he could care less for, but Pops in a way was HIS boss. He didn't want to make this any worse than it was. He sighed in defeat, "Alright, fine Rigby, apology accepted. But you're fixing this wall AND cleaning the other room, TONIGHT!"

"Ah, what?! But it's like eleven at night!" Rigby complained.

"No buts! There's plaster and paint in the basement, NOW GET TO WORK!" Benson yelled. "unbelievable..." he muttered as Pops and he walked out of the room.

Rigby was spared, this time. He went back to the cupboard and picked up the Enchiridion. "What ever this is, it's unlike anything I've ever seen before," Rigby thought to himself. It's magical, it's possessed, it's almost like it was evil. It is NOT safe. But he could care less. He almost got a kind of excitement out of it. The thrill and the adrenaline of that much power was unlike anything he ever felt before in his life.

"...I need to try this again..."


	5. Latched

At one in the morning, Rigby had finally finished cleaning up. He shuffled up to his room, the bags sagging and dragging down his face. The Enchiridion was in his hands.

He motioned for the door only to find it locked. "Dude," Rigby called quietly through the door. His voice fell to the floor with exhaustion. "Look, I know it sucks, but come on man...Mordecai...?" The raccoon sighed heavily. He saulked back down the stairs back to the living room. With a heavy thud, he collapsed face first into the soft cusions of the couch. "Good night Mordecai," he slurred as he drifted to sleep almost instantaneously.

* * *

In the morning, Rigby rolled off the couch onto the floor. His back cracked in several places as he stood all the way up. "I want to set the couch on the fire," Rigby muttered to himself. His back was in pain.

He wandered upstairs to find Pops occupied at Mordecai's door. "Mordecai, please, open up?" Pops insisted for what seemed like the hundreth time.

"Here, let me try," Rigby said getting angrier.

"Um, Rigby, maybe we should be more carefu-"

"Mordecai! Mordecai, open the door! You need to stop acting like a bum! Open the door!" Rigby demanded. Silence replied. "Mordecai, I'll kick this door down if you don't open up!" Rigby began feebly kicking at the white door until he stubbed his toe. He leaped in pain as he held his injured toe, swearing and cursing under his breath. "I'll...I'll...I'll ram this door down! You'll see!"

"Oh, Rigby, I don't think that's a good ide-" Pops tried to reason. However, Rigby already broke into a sprint with a weak battle cry and had crashed shoulder first into the door. He collapsed to the ground, wincing and whining over his bruised arm. Meanwhile, the door, thankfully, was completely unharmed. What a relief.

"F-Fine!" he stuttered, still clutching his arm and holding back tears. "Then I'll find another way in! This is your last chance! ...Okay, I'm coming in!" The raccoon ran down the hall into Benson's room. Just as he did, the door clicked open and Mordecai walked out.

He had not slept. His eyes were drained of life and color. His gaze was hollow and his face was pale. "What?" Mordecai asked in an annoyed tone.

"Oh, Rigby has already left, I'm afraid."

 _"That's it, I'm coming in! You brought this on yoursef!"_ Mordecai turned around to see Rigby halt his banging on the window. "Oh, hey Mordec- _AIII!"_  In a flash, Rigby was a gone from the roof and there was a loud thud from outside along with groaning. "I'm okay!"

"Retard..." Mordecai muttered as he marched downstairs.

"Shouldn't we check on him?" Pops asked only to have Mordecai brush right past him.

* * *

"Where is it?"

"Where's what?" Benson asked, startled. Mordecai had taken Benson by surprise. It was still early in the morning and Benson had just walked into his office. Benson took a second to see the strain plastered on Mordecai's face.

Mordecai was mad at everything. Mad at Margaret, mad at himself, but especially mad at the crown.

"Where is the Crown?" Mordecai demanded. His voice was low, but firm.

"Oh no," Benson said, "You're not getting it back! I'm giving it to Skips first thing when he gets here!"

"Benson, I'm getting rid of it," Mordecai said with an angered tone.

Benson, despite any better judgement, retrieved the crown from under his desk and surrendered it to Mordecai. "You better take care of this." Mordecai grabbed it and walked off without another word. "And if I find out you still have it, there  _will_  be consequences!"

The blue jay went passed a dazed and confused raccoon wincing and holding his knee on the ground. "Hey, thanks for that, man," Rigby said as Mordecai started the golf cart and drove off.

* * *

Mordecai had driven for half an hour. Far outside of the city, he made his way to a cliff far out in the woods. It was 200 feet above the ground below with a river twenty feet away from the base of the cliff. The tree-line stopped long before the edge and created a small clearing.

Mordecai remembered this place from when he and Rigby went camping once. This had to be the spot to do it.

He stepped out of the cart and grabbed the crown. He walked to the edge, each step a mile. He took a final look at the crown. It really was a beautiful thing, with a mirror reflection of Mordecai staring back at it. Inanimate objects do not show emotions, but this object seemed to have a pleading look on it.

Mordecai closed his eyes, reached his arm back, took a step forward, and froze.

He retraced the motions and screamed as he attempted once again to throw the crown. Again, he could not get rid of it.

Something seemed to be restricting him, making sure that he could not do anything.

"Come on! COME ON!" Once again, he couldn't do it.

The thoughts of Margaret flooded back into his mind. It was hemorrhaging to think of, driving him to the point where it ached. What had he done? Why can't he remember anything?

No...He remembered something. He felt oddly cold when he put it on, like a dull numbness washing over his body. It was calming. For a brief moment in time, he felt nothing but a slow, steady chill over him. He had no worries or fears, just a warm frost. All he could remember were mismatched feelings and senses.

He looked at the crown. If this thing made him forget last time, then maybe it could grant him a small piece of peaceful bliss this time.

He took a deep breath, lifted up in the air, and placed it on his head.

The embrace was so much warmer than he realized.

* * *

Rigby spent the entire day doing double the work to pick up Mordecai's end. It was grueling the work load he had to do. The hot sun did not make it any easier. The worst part was his bruised shoulder and the jarring pain in his back. Nothing had broken in the fall, thank goodness, but his entire body simply wanted to give up.

At lunchtime, he finally made it back into the house and plopped onto the couch, sweaty and exhausted. When he sat down, he felt something hard underneath him. He left the Enchiridion, exposed, on the couch the entire morning.

His cheeks turned red from embarrassment and with the thought that someone, anyone, could have found it. He quickly sprinted up to his bedroom and hid it under the clothes pile on his trampoline.

* * *

Mordecai arrived back at the house late at night, but with a much more lively mood. He snuck through the back door so no one could see what he was still carrying. He quickly ran to his room. Rigby was there in the bathroom, brushing his teeth. Rigby was exhausted from having to double his work load for Mordecai, but he kept his big mouth shut as he heard his bro enter.

Rigby's back was turned to Mordecai, but just to make sure, Mordecai hid the crown behind his back.

"Oh. Hey," Rigby tried to intimidatingly say as he still had toothpaste in his mouth. He managed to intimidate the mirror instead by spitting all over it.

"Uhh...He-ey" Mordecai said as he began wondering around the room. He had to find a place to hide his treasure before his friend could see him. There! Mordecai quickly shoved the crown onto the top shelf of the closet and hid it behind some of the other boxes.

Rigby had finished and turned around. "Dude, what was with you last night? I'm serious, if something else is eating at you or there's anything you need to talk about-"

"I said I'm fine!" Mordecai said, annoyed by Rigby. "What is this, an interrogation? I'm said I'm okay, can we just leave it at that!"

Rigby was not surprised by Mordecai's sudden change of tone. "Dude, what the hell's your problem?"

Mordecai realized what had just happened. He himself was taken back by his own anger. "Dude, no i-"

Before he could finish, Rigby already stormed out of the room.

Goddammit, why did he get so mad? He's not normally like that, only when he has a legitimate reason to be pissed off at Rigby. "Okay, no more excuses. You are getting rid of that thing tomorrow," he thought to himself, though there was a hint of doubt in the back of his mind.

* * *

There was an abrupt knock before Skips opened the door and stepped inside. "I heard about yesterday." Oh great, another unwanted piece of sympathy for Mordecai.

"Skips, everything is fine." Mordecai said in a frustrated voice.

Skips' tone changed. Mordecai was never this aggravated before, especially to Skips. "I need to know now: Did you get rid of it?"

"Yeah," Mordecai broke into a sweat. "He's on to me..."

"Mordecai, this is serious. If you're still in possession of it, tell me now!" Skips demanded.

"Chill out, I threw it over the cliff in the woods."

"Is that the truth?"

"...yeah," Moredcai replied nervously.

"IS that the truth?"

"YES. No one will ever find it again."

"I'm just making sure." A slight feeling of relief seemed to fall over Skips. Skips was hiding something. What it was, Mordecai did not know. Skips began to leave the room, but stopped saying "You got rid of the book too?"

"What?" Mordecai was confused for a second.

"The book that was in the bag, did you get rid of it too?" asked Skips.

Mordecai's mind was fuzzy. "Did I? Why can't I even remember?" Mordecai concluded that since he took the crown to get rid of it, he probably took the book too. "Yeah, I got rid of it too." Something caught him as strange though. Mordecai was the only one to have seen what was inside. "How did you know there was a book in there?"

"Oh, Rigby told me," Skips replied.

That answer seemed to make sense. He didn't think too much about it.

Mordecai was still sweating after Skips left. He had to calm himself down. He went over to the sink. He was shocked to find that he was starting to grow thin, white hairs on his face, making a faded, short beard. That wasn't normal for him. He took the time to shave it off before going to bed, exhausted and tired.

* * *

It was eleven o'clock when Rigby entered the room again. Mordecai was out cold. He was relieved at least that he would not have to actually talk to him. Rigby tip-toed over to his bed. Underneath the pile of stuff on his trampoline, was his new toy: The Enchiridion.

He slightly chuckled with glee as he walked out of the room. If he was going to take this magic stuff seriously, he had to practice...


	6. Practice Makes Perfect

Rigby sneaked out of the house with the book. It was very late, but Rigby did not mind. Something was calling him and he felt the need to answer. He rushed with the book out into one of the deepest corners of the park, shielded by trees from the outside world.

Spread around him outside were some long sticks pointed into the ground. A plastic garbage bag was stabbed into the other end. They were nowhere near impressive, but Rigby could only do so much in such a short amount of time and with his lack of crafting skills.

He re-opened the Enchiridion as he did the night before. He was not sure what triggered his spark the last time. He lifted his arm and flicked his wrist downward. To his disappointment, nothing emerged. "Come on, work with me here," he frustratingly pleaded with the inanimate book. He kept swinging his arm downwards and was growing more and more impatient. _Worthless._ Rigby continued to _Goddamn Mistake_ try clearing his mind but thoughts _"You can't do anything right!"_ reluctantly poured in.

" _Rigby..._ "

In an explosion of rage, Rigby screamed as his eyes clenched tightly. His face was beat red. He opened his eyes to a cool, soft green. Fire. It rested neatly in the palm of his hand. He did not feel the fireball at first. It was different this time. Its light was very dim and Rigby barely felt any warmth. He was calmer this time and kept it contained.

He wound his arm back, stepped forward, and threw his arm downward. The fireball sailed the first target and ignited it into a pillar of green fire which slowly changed to orange and red. Rigby was now laughing with satisfaction. "That was awesome!" he rejoiced with the biggest grin on his face.

Again, he followed through the steps as he set fire to another of the targets. Rigby beamed with pride at his new work.

He could feel it. He could feel something working its way into him with each motion. For those few fleeting moments, he could feel his timidness, his arrogance, his mistakes, his unspoken shame melt away. He never felt this way before. He was in complete control. This all went by unnoticed. Rigby was too focused on how cool he seemed to reflect on anything he was feeling. He started comparing himself to movie characters and superheros and how powerful he was compared to everyone else in the park. In one night, Rigby went from the weakest to the strongest in the park.

This was exactly what the Enchiridion was planning on.

He quickly relented a hail of fireballs, decimating the remaining targets. Many missed and trailed off into the clearing, but those that did hit disintegrating the bag in a bright blast. In his excitement and rage, he turned to the last statue, planted his feet in the ground, and sent a jet of green flames streaming from his hands. The makeshift target was absorbed in the gust and burnt away. "Holy crap!" Rigby exclaimed, "This is amazing! I didn't know I could do that! I was all like _pchuu pch-pchu!"_ he said, mimicking his earlier actions.

Rigby went back over to the book. There had to be other spells that would make him more advanced. He scrolled through the tantalizing artwork and tempting depictions of figures weaving and controlling various forms of magic. Rigby wanted to try them all. Yet he decided to fixate himself on the basics. The earlier flames left him exhausted and, strangely, in pain. The incomprehensible symbols somehow became legible. He could not tell what they were or how they would sound, but he knew what they meant. It was as though the words just projected themselves into his thoughts.

One such spell depicted a figured creating a strangely curved wall in front of him. With a little practice, a thin, greenishly transparent shield came to form in front of his hands. This bubble could scale up to five feet in height. However, he felt a strain on his muscles and contorting pain the larger he made them. Following the dark book, he tried next to pass his shield onto something else. With some failed attempts at first, Rigby formed a greenish bubble and touched his hand to a small rock no larger than a baseball and transferred it. The bubble was not much larger than the object supporting it. After a few minutes, the shield faded away. He then tried forming an enormous shield spanning five feet in diameter and tried to transfer it to the rock. It exploded into a thousand pieces, which Rigby kept in mind.

The final trick for the night was a little more mysterious. It was a blackish matter held like rock. It was sharp and thin, then flimsy and soft. It changed and molded to Rigby's whims. He used this plasma to glue two rocks together. Then Rigby quickly sliced them apart with a newly formed blade in his hand. "Yeah, science!" Rigby said to himself.

It had been several hours that he was out there. By then he had been able to pull off his new moves with ease. Except now he was starting to ache. His arms, particularly his chest was cramping and, what felt like, burning. He looked down to see faint steam coming from his arm. "I think that's enough for now..." Rigby said now more exhausted than ever.

Despite his satisfaction, there were dim feelings of frustration and anger lurking. He felt a calm rage. He could not explain why he felt it or where it came from. But he wanted to see something explode. He wanted to slice a tree in half and crash a plane out of the sky down to the park below. It worried him.

Nevertheless, the hours of constant concentration and physical strain took its toll. Rigby felt ready to collapse there in the grass. It was time to finally go inside and sleep.

"Ah Dangit!" Rigby screamed in frustration. The sun was already starting to come up. He had stayed awake the entire night.

Great, just great.

On the bright side, however, he achieved a lot. Both of them thought so...

* * *

It was still the dead of night as Finn continued his search for answers. There was one person left to turn to. One person who already opened up to him before about such things.

Finn arrived at the cave of Marceline, the Vampire Queen. Inside was a bright, pinkish house with a square yard that clashed heavily against the rocky backdrop.

A deep, symphonic bass melody echoed through the caves. Yet, from the deeper abyss, he heard odd, vaguely faint noises.

He knocked on the door harmoniously _bum bun-na nah nah. Bum bum._ "Marceline? It's Finn!"

"Come on in," she spoke from inside.

Upon entering the living room, he saw Marceline wearing a striped red and black shirt and was floating a few feet off the ground, strumming her ax-bass guitar.

There was no use stalling, so Finn came right out with it, "Marceline, I need to ask you about the-"

"Not right now," she said in a relaxed state.

"But Marceline, it's important!"

"Questions later. Jam Session. Go."

On command, Finn furiously flipped over the couch towards the tambourine in the corner of the room. No one applauded him for his acrobatic stunts, which was rather disappointing.

He batted at the instrument intentionally off beat. His face was jetted forward, awaiting for the session to frustratingly end.

Marceline's eyes were closed in a state of pure bliss. Then her smile fades to that of concentration.

She picks heard, yet slowly. The chords sound across the house. This is taking too long. Finn's intensive star intensifies. He beat the tambourine even faster.

She heard this song once, and only once, but she'll never forget it.

She clears her throat and mutters the sweet words.

_"Well I'm go-in' away, my baby..._

_I'm gonna leave you honey, now._   
_Well that train passed by when you lay sleeping,_   
_I'm gonna write you a letter on a dusty boxcar wall..."_

Marceline's vocals stopped after the lyric to take a breath.

She stopped.

She stopped singing!

Breaths count; evasive action!

Finn took his chance with the pause to spring to action. He immediately threw his tambourine away, causing something somewhere else in the house to break.

"Finn, what the heck?!" she demanded angrily, upset her totally rad music was halted by _The Man_ -or, in this case, _The Boy_.

"Marcelineit'simportantandIneedtoaskyousomething!" he garbled all at once, cutting her off.

She floated down to the ground, one hand on her hip. "Hmm, sounds pretty serious. Alright, shoot."

Finn tensed up, nervous not only of how the vampire girl would react, but what the answer might be. "Marceline, I need you to tell me about the Mushroom War."

She shrugged. "I already told you and Jake most of what went on with me and Simon. What else is there?" she retorted as she tuned her bass.

"More than that, I mean. Marceline... I was wondering if you could tell me anything about what happened before that. How the war started, what you did, who you met; anything..."

She stopped. She turned to him, "Why do you need to know?"

Finn froze at this question. "It's, uh, it's just important."

"Why?"

"It just is. What's wrong with the last human figuring out where he came from?"

"Not much, except that you've never cared before," Marceline responded. Finn swallowed hard. Sweat was collecting on his forehead. "Does it have something to do with that flame chick?"

"What? Why would this have anything to do with breaking up with Flame Princess?"

She shrugged again, "Well if you don't know, how should I?" She knew his question was rhetorical, but it was still fun to mess with him.

"I-uh..."

He sighed heavily. "Alright Marcy, you got me. I don't know why I want to know or why I think it's important. I-, I just _need_ to know."

Marceline floated towards her door. Finn accepting it as a sign to leave and followed suit.

"That's what I thought! You know, I learned that song I was just singing from someone before the Mushroom War. I might have told you about it if you hadn't interrupted me," she teased.

Finn frowned, embarrassed, as his cheeks blushed.

"Look, I don't like to talk about the Mushroom War much. It brings up a lot of bad mojo and I don't feel like getting worked up about it. If you come back with a real, honest reason for wanting to know, I'll spill the beans."

He smiled, "Thanks Marceline."

The heavy grunting sound came echoing back down the cave. Again, it maintained a constant beat. It sounded angry.

Finn looked towards its direction, befuddled. "What is that?"

"Huh? Oh, that's just the monster that lives in my cave."

"He sounds angry."

"Yup."

"Want me to..." Finn finished his sentence by punching his fist into his hand.

"Nah, he's cool."

"You sure? I could do some serious slaying. It would be all heroic and stuff."

She giggled in her usual fashion with mocking undertones, "You could try but I don't think he'd like it. Anyway, I'm off to terrorize candy villagers." She flew away, "Later Finn!"

"Yeah. See ya..." He waved passively. His fake smile reverted to a frown and his hand slowed. He thought for a second about going into the cave and slaying that monster thingy. It would make him feel _somewhat_ more heroic. Then he remembered the shattered Demon Blood sword sheathed on his back.

Eventually, he trudged out of the cave. "Oh man, now what am I supposed to do?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for how awkward this was. Previously, this chapter was just a large Author's note explaining Rigby's power. But it is extremely difficult to narrate a list like the one I had set up. I hope this was not too bad.


	7. Trouble Ahead

_Washington DC_   
_0800 hours_

"Sir, you're late." He met him halfway as the suited man walked down the hallway.

"Well then he can bill me. Have they started?"

"Everyone is waiting on you."

Armed guards stood at attention as they peered at the officials before them. Their M-16s and body armor were enough to scare anyone, even those that were allowed entry. The suited man received the briefcase from his younger assistant as he walked towards the guards who tightened their grips on their weapons as he drew closer. He sighed as he proceeded through the processes of surrendering his identification card and scanning his eye. Finally, he spoke into the microphone: "John Doe, Secretary of Defense."

The buzzer cleared, his White House clearance ID was returned, and he entered through the door. He passed through three hallways until he arrived at the war room. He took a quick breath and opened the door.

With a new presidency always comes a new cabinet. John was no exception as he held office for no more than five months. His nerves tensed over his first real ordeal. He at the tail of the long table. Around it sat the joint chiefs of staff, the secretary of state, all essential cabinet members, the vice president, and at the head, the president of the United States.

John cleared his throat and announced, "Gentlemen, this issue is of top national security. Now, I'd like to begin with the fact that this is not only our first real threat of this administration, but this could be the most pressing threat to national security in the past ten years." This erupted a few shallow nods of understanding amongst the cabinet. The president, however, looked on blankly, almost sheepishly.

"Last night at 11:43 PM, the country of Iran, against UN rules and restrictions, successfully stabilized a uranium core." The projector flashed several images behind him, "These were taken by our CIA asset in the compound. So far, it does not look like there is undeniable proof of their intentions, but our asset believes this will be used for war." There was a moment of silence as John awaited a response from the president.

"Iran...where's that at?" the president asked.

"I-...Asia, Mr. President..."

He scoffed, "Goddamn gooks at it again."

"T-The Middle East."

"Right." The president leaned over to one of his advisers, "Now what exactly is voter opinion of 'Iran'? Are they in favor of it?"

"No," the man responded, "Based on recent polling, no one has that strong of an opinion on Iran."

"How strong is 'not that strong'?"

"Well, they have kidnapped Americans in the past, as well as fought against the US backed Iraqis in the 80s."

"I thought we hated Iraq? W-Would my popularity go down?!"

"Not at all, wars always generate universal support at their outset. And that was the 80s."

"Mister President," John cut in, "I think we need to go over our options for dealing with-"

"Iraq, Iran, this is getting confusing."

"Sir," another analyst said leaning closer, "Twenty-five percent of Americans cannot identify Afghanistan or Iraq on a map."

The president scoffed, deeply offended, "Well, this is just pressing! Why aren't we talking about _this_?! People have been talking about how our education has been going downhill and it shows and the voters want a president that will stand for them! Jerry, get me the Department of Education!" The president quickly got up to leave. Everyone applauded the president's bold actions.

"W-What?" John stammered, "Mister President, we have to still handle this issue with the Iranians."

There was another moment of silence at the buzzkill named John Doe. The Vice President, who was the most serious at the table, spoke "What are our options?"

"Thank you, (finally). Uhm, well, there are several that I have personally devised but a multitude could be decided by any generals present or the director of the CIA. Well, first of all, bring this to the U.N. floor and hope they intervene. However, once this is brought to public light, the Iranians will make sure that this matter is covered up."

"Or they could pass it as a developing power plant. The UN ha been rather lenient with the Iranians as of late."

"Yeah!" the president piped in.

John continued, "Uhm, secondly, we could have our asset in the region attempt sabotage. But this could result in failure easily and we don't even know how effective he could be. Third, we could set up a proxy conflict with the Iranians in that region. There are still remnants of the Mujahideen Rebels from the 80s in Afghanistan. So far they've set up their own private army. They'd be willing to intervene for the right price. This, could, well, trace back to us if we are not careful."

The President asked, "What about those Seal guys? Why can't they just jump in and blow shit up! That's what I like to see!"

"Uhm...That would start an international incident if we were to attack a country out of the blue."

"Well it's not like we haven't done it before," the Secretary of state muttered.

"The Russians are partnered with the Iranians; they're a foothold for them in the Middle East. Anything we do will have the Russians breathing down our necks as well."

"Shit," the president sighed. Then, an epiphany arose. "What if, we, all, just, nuked, the Iranians? But we do it, get this, without anyone knowing...?"

"That is absolutely insane!"

"What the hell?!"

The rest just stared deadpan at the president. The Secretary of State shot an over-exaggerated thumbs up and cynical smile.

The President was deeply troubled by this response, "Maybe not. Fine. Do that CIA plan. Work alongside the Conductor-"

"Director."

"-Director of the CIA. I'm raising taxes next year, so you have a blank check. Now, let's go have that Education meeting."

Everyone was leaving the room, applauding the president for his boldness and tenacity to win voters. John sat back shaking his head alongside the Director of the CIA. "How the hell did he get elected?"

"Free college."

"Hmm, that'll do it." John pulled a much needed cigarette out of his suit pocket and lit it.

"John, I thought you quit."

"Not anymore." He sighed as he puffed drag after drag. "Blank check, huh? What're you thinking?"

The director chuckled, "I'm thinking this is not going to end well."

"No...No it will not..."


	8. First Date

Rigby was ready to collapse at any second. It had been a while since he pulled an all-nighter. To the bewilderment of Thomas, Rigby even seemed to sleepwalk while mowing the lawn.

"Benson's gonna yell at you if you keep that up," Mordecai said.

This snapped Rigby out of his semi-trance. "Thanks."

"You look like a trainwreck."

"I didn't need you to tell me that. I know."

Mordecai replied, "What time did you go to bed last night? I didn't hear you come in."

Rigby stared deadpan, "I didn't..."

"Jeez..."

"Why do you care?" Rigby shot back.

"Fine, I don't. But if you're so concerned that you're losing sleep over this, then you need to tell me."

"Okay, what? I don't even know what _this_ is! Why don't you say something or talk to me! Or anyone!" They stood in silence for a quick moment. "S-Sorry...Whatever you're going through, just, talk to me."

"I will."

Rigby sighed. He still felt insulted by how weak Mordecai assumed he was. "And I wasn't losing sleep over _you._ It's just that...I got...Stuff...Rigby stuff..."

The blue jay just shook his head. Rigby was an adult and it was not up to Mordecai to keep handling all his problems. "Just don't let Benson catch you like this.

Near noon, Rigby felt ready to collapse and sleep the whole day away. It would not have been the first time. "Just 5 minutes...no one will even notice..." Rigby muttered as he took a beeline straight for the bleachers. However, something stopped him in his tracks.

"Hey Rigby!" Eileen called as she awkwardly stepped closer to the raccoon.

This jolted Rigby to awareness for a moment. "Oh great."

"So, what's up?" Eileen asked.

" _Ehggggggg,_ " Rigby moaned with an unenthusiastic tone.

"Are you alright? You look terrible."

"No. Sleep. Need. Get. Bleachers. Want. Die." Rigby replied as he marched forward.

Eileen changed the subject: "H-How's Mordecai been? Did you get any of my texts."

Rigby shrugged at both of the answers. "I don't know."

"You don't know? You're best friends!"

"I don't know. He's good old Mordecai one minute then Mordy McDouchebag the next."

Eileen said, "Yeah...So Rigby, I was thinking-"

Rigby cut her off, "Eileen, I am three seconds away from dying of sleep not getting-ness. Please." It was not difficult to see that Rigby was just trying to get her to leave him alone.

"I have waited too long to give up now," Eileen thought to herself, now determined. With Mordecai and Margaret no longer together, Rigby and Eileen would not have as much of a reason to hang out. It would be too easy to just have a _falling out_.

Rigby was walking away when Eileen jutted in front of his path. Her tone changed. "You know what Rigby? You're going on a date with me. Right now."

The tired raccoon now shot awake. "What?!"

"You are going to spend your lunch break with me at the arcade."

He sighed, "I'd love to and you're a good friend or whatever but no thanks. I'm too tired for this," he said as he brushed her aside.

Eileen called to him, "Come on Rigby. I'll pay!" This stopped him for a moment. "I'll pay for lunch AND I'll get you a coffee." Rigby turned around to face Eileen. She said, "Look, I know you think I'm annoying and weird and that you don't like me. But just one date with you and me; no Margaret or Mordecai. Please."

Rigby thought about it before asking, "Just one date?"

"And I'll never bug you about it again."

Rigby took his time to think about it. This was a tempting offer. In the end he figured he didn't have anything to lose. "Fine. One date. But I only have an hour for lunch."

Eileen was giddy with joy. "Hey Benson, I'm going on my lunch break" Rigby screamed into the distance as they got into Eileen's car outside the park.

* * *

"Hey Benson. I'm taking the cart out for my lunch break," Mordecai said to his boss.

"Okay, just make sure you're back here on time," Benson replied.

Mordecai got into the cart, but had to stop by the house for something first. He grabbed the Crown from his closet and drove off.

He arrived at the same place as last time, the cliff in the woods. "Okay Mordecai, no excuses," he re-assured himself, "Just toss the damn thing over the cliff."

There were still remnants of snow and ice from before. Mordecai picked up the crown. "... 10 minutes..." Mordecai put on the Crown, and fell into an icy bliss.

* * *

**GAME OVER, PLAYER 2 WINS**

"Ughhhh! Must be rigged or something!" Rigby complained as he slapped the side of the machine.

"Like the last five?"

"Or broken or cheap or just- _ghahghgh..."_

"You just can't admit someone is better at video games than you," Eileen smirked. It was the fifth time in a row she beat him at Super Street Boxer 2.

"Oh please, I get that enough from Mordecai."

"Aww, I'm sorry Rigby. If you want, I could go easy next time. Blindfolded, hands behind my back, you name it."

"Haha, but I'm not _that_ bad! Gooooooooooooooosh!" Rigby remarked as he sulked away. He took another sip of his coffee as he walked in step with Eileen towards the other games.

"You sure? I've beaten you every time so far," Eileen remarked.

"If that's how you want to play it, fine." He walked around for any game where he knew he would beat her. "Ten bucks says I beat you at the next game," Rigby said, now desperate for a win.

Eileen smiled and agreed to the bet.

Rigby led her over to one of the shooting games they had there.

"Are you serious?" Eileen genuinely asked

"What, you're scared?"

Eileen crossed her arms, smiled, and said "Alright, alright, you're on! First to die loses."

The quarters were inserted and they both pressed start.

It had been a while since Rigby held anything close. He held his arms steady, his right hand pushing towards his left which pulled back. The bulky plastic made no difference.

Eileen did not stand a chance. Every enemy on screen was instantly wiped out. Eileen lost in three minutes, but Rigby still kept playing. He made it to ten minutes in before he finally beat the game itself. "OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Rigby screamed as he stood triumphantly.

"Okay, okay, I'll admit that was pretty good." Eileen said, overall impressed.

"Gimme my money!"

Eileen thought of a way around this, "How about I get you ten bucks in a different way..."

* * *

Rigby was satisfied with his payment. Together they got a booth at Cheeser's. Rigby, trying to pay his winnings out to the fullest, got the deluxe supreme.

"So how did you do that?" Eileen asked curiously.

" _SCHDO WHA-?_ " Rigby garbled with a mouth full of food.

"That was insane back there!"

"Oh, that. I used to go shooting with Don and my crazy uncle Ted when I was younger," Rigby explained, "I haven't gone in a while though, mostly because my-OH SHOOT!" Rigby yelled.

"What? What's wrong?"

It was two o'clock, a full hour later than when he should have been back. They both realized this and quickly ran back into Eileen's car.

* * *

They quickly drove up to the park. As Rigby was getting out, Eileen said to him, "That was fun. We'll have to do that again sometime." Rigby smiled at this and nodded his head in agreement. He held his smile long after she pulled out.

"RIGBY!" Benson yelled as he saw his employee. "Where the hell have you been?"

"Sorry Benson, I was... hanging out...with Eileen...?" He knew this really was a poor excuse.

"Do you even realize that you're an hour late?!"

"I'm sorry Benson, It won't happen again," Rigby said coweringly.

Benson sighed and said, "Get back to work, if you're late again: You're fired!"

He walked away, and Rigby emitted a sigh of relief. Muscle Man and High Five Ghost walked toward the raccoon laughing. "What's so funny?"

"Dude, you totally dig that nerd chick!" Muscle Man said pointing his finger.

"Shut up, I don't like her" Rigby replied, but the blush on his face would disagree.

"Don't lie! I'm a master at these things!" Muscle Man rebutted.

"So when are you gonna," High Five Ghost playfully elbowed Rigby, "Make your move?" The two were laughing as Rigby's face only got redder.

"I don't like her! And besides, even if I did I wouldn't even know how to 'make my move.'"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, hold up. Have you ever even dated a chick before?" Muscle Man asked. Rigby shook his head no.

"So you've never even..." High Five Ghost said. Again, Rigby shook his head no.

The duo were astounded. Rigby just felt embarrassed. "Dude, don't even worry. I got you covered." Muscle Man led Rigby back to his trailer where Muscle Man retrieved a pack of papers. He handed the pages to Rigby and said "BAM! The solution to your problem!"

Rigby read the cover out loud, "Mind Games, by Jay T Dawgzone?"

"Yeah man! It's how to get all the ladies you want!" Muscle Man said.

"Why the name change?" Rigby asked.

"I just want those fat stacks of cash. I don't want to be drenched with adoring women when I already have Starla. I'm gonna find some loser to publish it for me!" Muscle Man bragged.

"This is the stupidest thing I've ever seen."

"Hey, I've been going out with Starla longer than you've been working here, so you're-...you're just...you're dumb! You didn't even read it!" Muscle Man yelled.

"Fine!" Rigby groaned. Rigby flipped to a random point in the packet: _Chapter 8: Fishing._ _This next chapter may sound a little controversial, but guys: don't pay attention to them. The more you ignore a girl, the more you reel her in. This move is sort of like fishing. You give her some slack, then you_

Rigby closed and tossed it back to Muscle Man. "No thanks, I think I can do better on my own."

Muscle Man got angry at this response. "You don't even know anything about chicks!"

Rigby walked away, saying, "Only a moron would actually read that crap..." Ironically, in a thousand years, the hero of mankind would eat up every word.

* * *

Later that night, the book once again called to Rigby to be used. Rigby was getting better, alarmingly so. It didn't hurt to use magic anymore. Rigby hardly wanted to leave home without the Enchiridion. He could feel himself getting stronger each day.

This was Rigby's new routine. Every night was spent in a corner of the park, harnessing the power of the Enchiridion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I know if seems like it is taking a while, but I have to build up to the Mushroom War.


	9. No Going Back

Mordecai woke up drenched in sweat. The surge of panic gradually left him. It had been another night terror. He's been getting them more and more recently. And like the others before, he could not remember a a single thing about it.

Mordecai lay in bed as his drained eyes were fixed on the ceiling. The exhaustion drove his mind into a surreal state. The splotches of paint and plaster on the ceiling were changing and molding into new shapes. He dared not fall back asleep. It was still only 5:30, and Rigby still slept on his trampoline. Mordecai simply decided to just get ready for the day.

When he went to the bathroom, he discovered something odd. He was growing white hair around his beak, forming a short beard. He was about to shave it when he felt a slight prick of hesitation. Why would he want to shave such a thing? Why on earth would Simon want to shave off such a handsome beard?

"What the hell?!" Mordecai thought to himself. "Who's Simon?" he asked to know one in particular. "Mordecai, you're just tired and exhausted. It's just your mind messing with you, don't worry about it," Mordecai reassured himself.

The Crown was getting to him, and it did not want to let go. Mordecai could feel it strongly. The chilled, mute voice putting thoughts into his head and words into his mouth. Yet, Mordecai silently accepted it. He could not feel any ill-will against it. He still did not know what the endgame was, if there was any at all.

* * *

Rigby was running in the darkness. His breath was visible and all around was pitch black. He could not stop himself from running. What he was trying to escape from he did not know. He just kept moving. Just like that, a massive explosion went off in his path. Rigby was lifted from his feet, he could feel the heat wave hit his body. He screamed from the intense pain.

Rigby woke up in a quick spasm. He looked around to make sure this was real life and not some other sick dream. He could hear Mordecai in the shower. He rubbed the sand out of his eyes and started to get up. Something caught his eye. He thought he could see something shiny on the top shelf of the closet. Something peculiarly gold looking. With the the dim light, Rigby could only make out the general outline of it. But its color and luster were still present.

As Rigby went towards the closet, Mordecai opened the door. "Hey Rigby."

Rigby stopped in his path. "Hey Mordecai. Dude, uh, you got something all over your face," Rigby said pointing out his stubble.

"...And...?"

"Uh, nothing man. It, uh, it looks good," Rigby lied. Mordecai just stared at his friend with a blank gaze for a moment. Then started to head out the door.

He's been like this for the past few days. Mordecai hardly spoke to anyone anymore. Rigby stopped him, "Dude, don't. Don't just shut everything out. If what happened with Margaret is still getting to you, then talk to her. I dunno, maybe it'll work. But you can't just sit around all depressed and junk for the rest of your life."

Mordecai continued his glossy look. "Thanks," He quickly said before leaving.

* * *

At breakfast, Rigby felt awful. His chest was aching and he was coughing non-stop. On top of that, there was a longing. He felt as though he forgot something important somewhere but could not place his mind onto it.

"Rigby, is everything okay?" Thomas asked.

"Yeah I think so," Rigby meekly said. "I just don't feel good, that's all." His stomach was on fire.

Rigby went back to his room. When he walked in the door, his sickness left him almost immediately. Nothing was hurting anymore. "Now why the heck is-...unless..." Rigby knew what made him better. It was the Enchiridion. He was now at a point where he could not leave the confines of the book, not that he complained.

Rigby opened his closet and slung on a one-strap backpack. He carried the Enchiridion inside with him.

* * *

_Knock Knock Knock_

"Just a minute!" Margaret called from inside her apartment. Outside, Mordecai was nervously tapping his foot on the ground.

Margaret opened the door and her expression quickly changed to that of a disappointing frown. Her eyes were noticeably grayer and her apartment did not seem to fair much better. Her breath smelled of scotch and alcohol. She started to close the door but Mordecai stopped her. "Hey," Mordecai tried to greet in a lighter tone.

"Hey yourself. What do you want?" she asked.

"Whatever I did that night, I am so, deeply sorry. I honestly don't remember anything from what happened but that was not my fault."

Margaret started to close the door again, but this time Mordecai held it open as he stepped into her apartment. "It was all the Crown that night. I swear I never meant to do anything to you! You know that! I, I still love."

"Just tell me one thing..." Margaret replied

"Anything!" Mordecai quickly responded.

"Did you get rid of it?"

"I threw it over a cliff the morning after," Mordecai assured her.

Margaret's face changed to one of relief. She hugged her lover. "I'm sorry I over-reacted. I guess it was a little unfair for you. It wasn't your fault, I just-"

"Shhhhhhh" Mordecai interrupted. He leaned in and touched her beak with his. Their arms tightened around each other as they kissed.

"You're still all there," Margaret said before moving back into his arms. Mordecai backed her up against the wall as she tightened herself around his back.

"Oh Betty," Mordecai muttered. Margaret's eyes opened.

Margaret tried to push Mordecai away, but Mordecai was the stronger one. In response he began to kiss her more ferociously.

"Mordecai stop-" Mordecai's kiss interrupted her words. "I don't want to do this anymore-!" She was trying to push him back but he would not relent.

Margaret used all of her strength to push Mordecai away a few inches. With this opportunity, she slapped him across the face. This snapped him back, "Margaret, I'm sorry-"

"Betty. That's what you called me that night!" Margaret said. She was shaking her head, "You lying sack of shit."

Mordecai began to explain himself, "Margaret, listen, I di-"

Margaret wasn't going to have any of it. "I don't want to hear it, you can leave. Don't come back until you're back to the man I fell in love with." Mordecai stumbled as he left the apartment. He turned to say something but Margaret slammed the door as he left.

Margaret was left crying against the door. "Damnit Mordecai...Damn you..." she muttered to herself. She looked down and placed her hand on her stomach as she cried.

* * *

Rigby felt odd knowing _It_ was on his back. He just tried to ignore the ever present feeling of the Enchiridion and go about as normal.

He was raking the leaves when Eileen decided to pay a visit. "Hey Rigby!" Eileen called as she walked closer.

She's lying to you. She will only hurt you.

Rigby just tried to ignore it. "Oh, hey Eileen. You could have just texted."

"I know. I was just wondering if you wanted to go see a movie tonight?" Eileen asked.

We do our best to kill and maim because our kills all the same, Napalm sticks to kids.

"Uh- sure. Tonight sounds good. What movie did you want to see?"

From afar, Muscle Man saw the two talking. "You know who else likes messing with dweebs on dates?" High Five Ghost winked in agreement as he handed Muscle Man a football. "Heads up Rigbaby," Muscle Man muttered to himself. He aimed for the back of Rigby's head and threw as hard as he could.

Rigby felt something odd. His arms and his hands started to feel...funny... Time slowed down for him. He had blocked out everything Eileen said as he heard his own heart beating. His tail was starting to tingle, as well as his chest and head.

Without even thinking, Rigby turned around and caught the football in his hands in the nick of time.

Everyone, including Rigby, was left open-mouthed. Rigby could hardly believe what just happened. He looked up to see the culprits. He got angry as he wound up the football in his arm and threw it towards Muscle Man.

It sailed until it hit Muscle Man square in the chest. He almost toppled over.

Rigby turned back to Eileen who was still open-mouthed. He awkwardly chuckled it off as he apologized. "So, uh, see you at 7...?"

* * *

Mordecai needed to know what the hell was going on with him. He suddenly remembered seeing VHS tapes in the bookbag when he had it. Skips had the bag though.

The blue jay waited in the bushes for over an hour outside of Skips' shed. As the yeti moved out for just a moment, Mordecai quickly snuck inside, took the bookbag, and ran back to the house. He carried the TV and the VHS player into his room and set everything up.

He opened the back of the bag and searched through. There were four tapes in total. He decided to watch them all in case there was anything he missed. One of them was bound to have something, whatever that something may have been.

Each tape was labeled with a date written on a piece of tape. Mordecai took the earliest one and pushed it into the player.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feel free to leave a review and let me know what you think so far.


	10. The Tapes

**Tape 1**

The screen flashed black and white static before forming a clearer picture. The date in the corner said the year was 1982.

Wherever this took place, it was extremely dark. Suddenly a door opened and a young woman could be seen walking through it. The lights turned on revealing a huge crowd of people. "SURPRISE! HAPPY BIRTHDAY BETTY!"

The woman was now surprised and excited. She had pinkish skin and rosy red hair and wore a small pair of glasses. A man walked up to her. He looked to be in about his mid-thirties with glasses and had long brown hair. She said to him in excitement, "Simon, did you plan all this yourself?"

He grabbed her in his arms, "Only the best for you my princess, you only get to be thirty-two once." At this he leaned in and kissed her. The group of people cheered.

They paused for a second as she said, "I think they want an encore," as she kissed him this time. Now the crowd began to playfully boo the couple. One person from the background said, "Knock that crap off and let's get this party started!"

Mordecai fast-forwarded. He felt...dirty...looking through these tapes. These were private to someone. But yet, he almost seemed to remember them. For some reason he felt like he had been there before. Deja Vu?

When he pressed play, Betty and Simon were the only two left at the party. They were slow dancing to some old music. "That was some party huh?" the man asked.

"Yeah. I can't thank you enough for this Simon."

"Betty...?"

"Yeah?"

"Promise you'll always love me."

Betty quickly replied, "I promise," before they began to kiss.

Mordecai fast forwarded again.

This time, the two were at a Ski slope. The dialogue was unrecognizable, but he could see Simon wearing a greenish-sweater and getting down on one knee in front of Betty and pulling a ring from his pocket. She hugged him before their picture was taken by someone off camera.

* * *

Mordecai did not think this tape had anything more useful. He ejected it and was about to put in the second when Rigby walked in the room.

"Hey Mordecai."

Mordecai became hot with embarrassment. Caught in the act. "Hey Rigby..."

"Dude, why'd you jack the TV?" Rigby asked as headed towards the bathroom. His voice was rather passive, as though he was obliged to make small talk.

"Uhhh...no reason, just going to watch a movie."

"What kind?"

"It's, uh, it's boring. You wouldn't like it," Mordecai tried to convince him.

"Why, cause I'm 'Not smart enough' to get it?" Rigby said as he entered the bathroom.

Mordecai was a little surprised. "I didn't say that."

"You might as well have," Rigby replied.

Mordecai responded, "You gonna stay here all night?"

"Oh my gosh, no! I'm not, okay? What's your problem? Jeez..."

"Where are you going?"

Rigby moved into the bathroom, "Nowhere, just going to watch a better movie."

"Alone?"

"With Eileen, for your information."

"You could have just said you were going on a date."

"It's not a date!" Rigby screamed as he slammed the bathroom door shut. With that, Mordecai thought it safe to put in the next tape. Mordecai did not notice Rigby's new bag, nor did he care to notice. He put in the next tape and pressed play.

* * *

**Tape 2**

"Woah woah woah, Be careful down there!" Simon said to someone off screen. The camera was directly in front of him. He was fully dressed in heavy winter gear. Behind him was a view of very large mountains and it was snowing hard. The year was still the same.

He turned back to the camera. "Day thirteen of our expedition to find ancient Nordic artifacts. So far, our finds have been little. I lost my previous tape yesterday. The rest of our team is starting feel restless. If we don't find anything soon, we may have to turn back...Betty, if you're out there, I hope I can make it home soon."

The screen went to static as it faded to a point later that day. Simon was walking with about three others alongside the mountain. Simon was holding the camera as he walked. "Steady now. Careful, it may get a little narrow up ahead."

"How do we even know if this tomb is out here?" a member of the group yelled.

"Trust me I know it's out here." Simon put his arm on the mountain to rest. All of a sudden, the rocks started to crack with his body weight.

"Simon watch out!" someone yelled. But it was too late, the wall broke open and Simon fell through. The camera was spinning before it turned to black.

Simon's breathing could be heard, but the picture was still dark. "You alright down there?" could be heard from the distance.

"Yes, yes. I'm fine. Maybe a little bruised, but I'll be more than fine." Simon replied. He turned on a flashlight. From what could be gathered by the light, he was in a large, grand hall with statues carved along the walls. "I FOUND IT! Come down here, but be careful!"

As Simon walked further into the hall, the camera started flickering between static then back to the picture. Skeletons clad in decayed armor and Nordic furs all lay facing the same direction.

Simon's breath drew quicker as he walked further down the hall. At the end was a pedestal. A bony hand was resting on something, covering it up. The camera was now worse than before. As Simon lifted the hand, a quick glance could be seen of a book. A loud humming was now coming from the TV. When Simon got a closer look at it, the title read "The Enchiridion" before the screen went to static.

"That's the book that was in the bag when I got it" Mordecai thought to himself. He was getting more nervous as he continued watching.

The screen came back to normal. Simon was at a table with the rest of the expedition members. They seemed to be in an Inn or a bar of some sort. Mordecai noticed that there were originally four other members, but he could only see three.

"Are you sure, this can work?" one of them asked Simon.

"Yes, I have no doubt in my mind. All we need is to find the last three and then we'll have it!" Simon said as he held the book on the table. It was slightly out of view of the camera.

"I thought you didn't really believe in this stuff in the first place!"

Simon replied, "As an archaeologist, it is my duty to uncover the unknown. And this case is no exception."

"What will happen when we find the last three?"

Simon replied, "Well according to ancient legend, we will open the doorway to time and space. Whether this works or not, I plan to find out."

"...Will it be worth what happe-"

Simon cut in, "If this legend is true, then it will never have mattered.."

"Pfffft, that's lame as hell!" Mordecai jumped as he turned around, Rigby had startled him. "What a chump movie."

"Dude, get out of here!" Mordecai could feel himself starting to get angry again. No, he had to prevent himself. He could not afford to keep getting angry. He changed his mood and playfully said, "Don't you have to be on your daaaaattteeee?"

"SHUT UP IT'S NOT A DATE!" Rigby said as he began to walk out of the room.

Mordecai chuckled at this response. Then he said, "Rigby...I'm happy for you."

"Why do you care? Shouldn't you get back to being sad and alone?" Rigby shot back as he left.

He could hear Eileen's car outside pull up to the house, the door open and close and then it drove off.

* * *

Mordecai looked back at the TV.

One of the group members was holding a revolver at his waist. It was pointing to whatever was behind the camera. "Now stay back, you hear!" The man's eyes were bloodshot and his hands were shaking. In the other hand, he was holding a gold object with three rubies on it. Mordecai knew this was the crown he had.

"Now, listen just take it easy! Just put down the gun" Simon said off camera.

"STAY BACK! I TOLD YOU TO LEAVE ME!" he screamed as he waved is gun at imaginary people and things around him. Simon dove to the floor once he began shooting at the open air in terror.

"JUST MAKE THEM GO AWAY! MAKE IT ALL GO AWAY" He put the gun under his own chin.

"Mathew, wait!" Simon yelled.

The trigger was pulled and the film ended then and there.

Mordecai could not stop now, he had to keep watching. He needed to know why he would suddenly start thinking about this man; this Simon. He knew about him long before watching these.

Mordecai popped out the tape, grabbed the third one, and put it in the player.

* * *

**Tape 3**

The screen jutted to Simon standing alone in what appeared to be a museum. Valuable artifacts sat protected in glass cases on both sides of the mysterious man.

"Hello, my name is Simon Petrikov. I'm recording this tape so that people will know my story."

He pulled a PDA out of his coat as he continued, "I was studying to be an antiquarian of ancient artifacts. Now I never believed in the supernatural stuff myself, just out of fascination with superstitions."

He now stood aside of a large safe, locked by chains. It's very appearance was menacing to think of what could possibly lay inside. Why was there so much protection? "But everything changed when I came into contact with this item!" he proclaimed as he unlocked the safe.

Reaching inside he pulled out: The Crown...

The shot cut to Simon walking with the Crown gently cradled in his arms. "After purchasing this Crown from on old dock worker in Northern Scandinavia, I brought it home and excitedly showed it to my fiance, Betty." The picture behind Simon of himself and Betty was the same from his proposal in the mountains.

"I jokingly put on my head for a laugh or something. But that's when it started..." The demented object now rested on his head.

He approached the camera, eyes changed to match the icy chill the Crown induces. Mordecai felt his own spine chill as he knew the same pain this man was going through.

"The visions! I fought with them! Shouted at them until I realized it wasn't real it was the Crown!"

He removed it from his head, "I quickly took it off, and saw my fiance in front of me, looking at me with such contempt. What did I say?! What had I done when I wore this Crown?! All I know is I never saw Betty again..."

The screen turned to static as it jumper further ahead. Simon's skin was now blue as he sat at his desk with the artifact in front of him. "Since then, I see the visions always whether or not I wear the Crown. They tell me the secrets...the secrets of the ice and snow. That the power of the Crown will save me with its frost! ...I don't yet know what this means. As you can see, my skin is beginning to turn blue. My temperature has been lowering at a supernatural rate to what is now about thirty degrees Celsius."

A light snowfall was occurring outside his window. "I don't know when it will end...I'm really scared..."

The television now showed Simon sitting with the Crown atop his head. The snow outside was unending as it was literally covering the town. His hair was long and white, thin patches of a beard were growing on his face.

He looked at a picture of Betty, "I know my mind is changing, but I'm already too fargone to know what to do! I want people to know that if I do things...If I do things that hurt anyone...Please! Please forgive me!"

The final cut of the tape was now shown. The snowfall was all around. Simon's beard had grown all the way to his chest. "Just watch over me until I can find a way out of this labyrinth in my brain and regain my sanity!" he screamed as he tried, in vain, to rid the visions by banging his head. "And then maybe Betty, my princess, maybe you will love me again! PLEASE LOVE ME AGAIN, BETTY!"

* * *

Mordecai was shaking the entire tape. "Is this what I'm becoming? No, no no no, there has to be a cure! There just has to be!" Mordecai thought to himself. "Maybe the last tape has the answers..." he concluded.

Mordecai took out the third tape and put in the final tape. He sat down and pressed play.


	11. Simon

A loud knocking came from the other side of two large, oak doors. After a few minutes of continual knocking, a mangled sword that was broken in half slid between them, undoing the lock. Finn opened the doors to the closed library, desperate to find anything at all. The grand atrium past the door was pitch black. He was the only one there, as the resident librarian, Turtle Princess, was at the castle.

Finn reached into his backpack and pulled out a tin flashlight. He made his way towards the ancient history section, bumping into every table and chair on the way. He finally reached the "Human History" section and began fruitlessly pulling whatever he could from the shelves. Despite the library's impressive size, now shrouded in darkness, the human history section was rather meager. The human fiction and romantic paperback novels, on the other hand, took up two entire sections of shelf-space.

Finn crept towards the nearest table, arms filled with books, before spilling them on the table. With his flashlight on his shoulder, he poured through the books, flipping through page after page. The Greeks, Plymouth Rock, the Mongolians, and the Great War; he read it all already. There was nothing he had not already combed through before. There were so many gaps in knowledge, so much time left unrecorded and unanswered. The books in front of him were so cut and dry, so dull and colorless.

There was nothing about culture...their art...their music...their beliefs...

Finn wanted something; anything he had not known before to leap out from the pages and snap him out of this strange emptiness in him. All of the books stopped right after the second world war; nothing beyond it. There was so much he did not know. There was such a longingness; a phantom pain jostling up his spine.

In a mad frenzy of frustration and pain, he hurled the books of the table and let them crash into the darkness beyond him.

* * *

**Tape 4**

The picture was completely static. Only faint outlines etched out a weary Simon sitting alone. "There is no cure."

The screen flickered. "LEAVE ME ALONE! HAVEN'T YOU TAKEN AWAY ENOUGH FROM ME!?"

The TV began to hum. Laughter. Then silence.

The television flashed to Simon sitting in a chair alone. He was laughing hysterically. However, the footage was fast-forwarded, edited it seemed. The hours in the corner ticked by as he continued his laughing.

"There is no cure."

Black. He was giggling, "Hehehehe, get off of me, hehe, that tickles!"

"WHO AM I ANYMORE?!"

Static again.

"There is no cure."

The camera was being held by Simon as he walked. Faint whispering sounded. No, it was outside of the television. It was behind Mordecai; it was all around the room. From what little could be seen of Simon's apartment, everything was trashed. Random objects were on the ground, broken. The furniture was wrecked. The worst part was the snow. Ice and snow blanketed the ground while a light frost clung to the walls.

There were strange writings on the wall in a language Mordecai could not discern.

The screen flickered. It cut to the camera raised up higher than usual.

"Simon! Simon open the door!" A voice could be heard in the distance of Simon's apartment.

It was faint. But Mordecai recognized it: "Could that be? Is that...Skips?"

The whispering was getting louder. A soft steady hum was joining it. It was getting louder and louder. Mordecai tried to turn the TV volume down, but it only resonated throughout the room. The camera leaned upwards. A rope could be seen. It connected down around Simon's neck. Mordecai shook as he watched.

Then all at once, he stopped. The humming cut completely. Simon looked directly at the lens. "Don't trust him," he instructed. He stood motionless, waiting.

Mordecai whispered to himself, "Who?"

"Rigby."

Then the camera fell to the ground. The chair Simon was standing on was brought out from underneath. Simon's feet fell then stopped just before the ground.

The VHS player shattered itself. The television screen bursted outward, shards of glass shot all over the floor. Mordecai screamed as he backed up to the wall in shock. Tears were forming on his face. Mordecai grabbed his head, "What the fuck? What the fuck?!"

The Crown seemed to be a recurring element for those that killed themselves. Mordecai figured he was next.

If there was anyone who could help at this point, however, it was Skips. It had to be Skips. Mordecai picked up the bag and headed to the yeti's shed.

* * *

Halfway to his destination, Mordecai ran into Skips. It turns out that Skips was actually on his way to find Mordecai himself.

"Mordecai! Why did you take the bag?! You know it's dangerous!" Skips scolded to Mordecai.

"I watched the tapes... all of them..." Mordecai said. Skips was silent at this.

"You shouldn't be messing with things you don't understand!" Skips grabbed the bag, Mordecai willingly let go.

"Who was Simon?"

Skips was stopped by this question. "...I don't know what you're talking about," He said as he began to leave.

"You knew who Simon was. What happened?"

Skips sighed before answering. "Simon used to be a park employee. He was a good friend of mine the years that he was here. But he always was investigating into the unknown. Every myth, every legend, every story he sought out. Some of the stuff he was getting into was too dangerous for his own good. After he left, he still kept in touch with me: asking about things he had found or legends he heard of. He had found myths of a book that can link universes...I tried to warn him. He didn't listen...He didn't call me about the Crown he found until he was already too far gone. At the time he lived in Canada and it took me too long to get there, mostly because it was in the worst winter of its history. But it was too late..."

Skips let out a sorrowful sigh, "The Crown can corrupt anyone. I couldn't keep them, but I still had to keep my eye on them. So I threw them in the lake where I intended them to stay." Then he looked at Mordecai, "That's why I need to know if you still have the Crown. If you have it, tell me."

Mordecai lied, "I told you I got rid of it the morning after."

Something shifted in Mordecai. Despite everything he saw that night, something held him back. The Crown was not going to leave. He was not sure whether he actually liked it or it was just holding him hostage at this point, but no matter what, he could not bear the risk of getting rid of the crown.

Skips grabbed Mordecai's arm. It was cold. Mordecai began to grow warm with guilt.

"Mordecai listen! This thing will destroy you! That is a guarantee!"

"Everything is fine!" Mordecai yelled as he yanked his arm out of Skips' grip. "There's nothing to worry about, jeez! Why is everyone getting on my case? I'm not Rigby! I can take of myself."

Skips only slowly shook his head as he backed away. He knew Mordecai was lying. But if he did find the Crown and took it off of him, then what? Would it corrupt him too? What would happen to Mordecai without the Crown? Too many risks. Too many variables. Skips needed time to think this over. He needed time.

"I hope you're right Mordecai. I honestly do."

Before he could leave, Mordecai stopped him, "Wait! Skips. You-You've seen the tapes, right?"

Skips nodded.

"What did he mean...a-at the end, before he-...killed himself."

"That," Skips huffed, "That is something that still puzzles me. I still don't know who fully know who Smerdyakov is."

"Wha-who?" Mordecai questioned.

"At the end. 'Don't trust Smerdyakov.'"

Mordecai played along, "R-right. Yeah. Smerdy-auhhh...W-what does that mean?"

"Well, I don't quite know. He didn't have any friends of that name, nor any relatives in Russia. My only guess is a character."

"A character?"

"From a book...some old Russian novel. Simon recommended it once while he was here and I read it a few years back out of curiosity. In it, there's this awful father and the story's about his broken family and awful sons. The one son, the one who kills him near the end, was named Smerdyakov."

"So...why's that important?"

"In the book, he represented," Skips shook his head, "He represented the Devil."

Mordecai felt his blood chill.

"But I have no idea, I'm just guessing."

"Right...thanks...TV's broken by the way."

"I'll fix it in the morning," Skips sighed in annoyance. He skipped away, leaving Mordecai alone.

Mordecai slowly headed back to the house. "Just take it easy. Everything's alright Simon, everything is fine..."

_"Don't trust Rigby..."_ the Crown instructed in his mind.


	12. I Don't Like Her

Rigby hopped into the passenger seat of Eileen's car. "Hey Rigby!" Eileen said as Rigby hopped in.

"Hey. So, what movie are we seeing?"

Rigby had his own intentions. He was going to force her to watch the manliest, most testosterone-filled movie showing. To make matters worse, the car did not fair much better. The trip was silenced by the radio. Hardly a word was spoken.

 _"Why is he acting like this so much?"_ Eileen pondered as she drove.

At the theater, Rigby begged to see _Kidnapped 2_ with Lian Nelson. "Rigby, I really don't want to see this one. What if we-"

"Okay," Rigby said nonchalantly as he proceeded to buy his own ticket for the movie. Once inside.

"So...I'll get the popcorn if you..." Eileen said to Rigby.

"If I...?"

"...nevermind..." Eileen bought the popcorn _and_ the drinks.

* * *

" _Listen, they're going to Kidnap you... **2**... I need you to stay calm..."_

Rigby had nearly forgotten Eileen was sitting next to him as he lost himself in the movie. The raccoon was already invested in the cliched plot and immersed himself in the movie. He was brought back to reality when Eileen lightly grabbed his hand that was on the arm rest between them.

Rigby quickly yanked his hand back. Nothing about him carried any subtlety to it. Eileen's face shifted to disappointment, then anger. She stood up, which prompted Rigby to ask, "Hey, where you going?"

"Shhh!" came from behind them.

"Bathroom," Eileen replied in a cold tone.

"Shh!"

"I'm serious, you okay?"

"SHH!"

"Asshole," she muttered as she walked off.

"Eileen-!"

"SHHHH!"

"Go SHH yourself!" Rigby retorted as he followed after her. "Eileen, wait!" he screamed as he chased her down in the hallway.

"What, what could the great Rigby possibly want?"

"Eileen, I'm sorry, but, uhm, just, I just didn't want this to be a date."

"When did I ever mention the word date? What are you, four?! Next thing you know I'll have cooties or something! Why don't we just chase each other with sticks and roll around in the mud! You know, real mature like!"

"That wouldn't be half bad," Rigby admitted.

"Unbelievable!" she screamed as she began to walk off.

"No! Eileen, I just, I don't like you and I just didn't want to say it because we're good friends and it would be weird so I kind of figured being a jerk would work. I know, stupid plan, hail to the king of the stupid, me. All hail his jerkness. I guess this all just backfired."

"Well you're certainly acting the part so I don't know what you were expecting. You are just so dumb and so oblivious that I'm surprised I even agreed to come to this stupid movie theater with you!" She waltzed off, but turned back for a quick moment, "Oh, and you don't have to worry. You weren't worth liking to begin with."

Rigby stood alone in the small movie theater hallway with tears etched in the corners of his eyes. Eileen had already left. Rigby just stood there for a while.

After some time, Rigby began to mull over what happened. His mind slowly shifted to what he would do for the rest of the night. He thought he would go home and practice with the book some more and let out all his rage. But he felt more like just lying on his bed and passing out. Before that, he might take another shower just to feel the water on him and stand in it for a while. First he had to get home. But how? His only ride was-Eileen...

"Aww damnit Rigby..."

He took off sprinting out the door in the direction her car was parked. It was a long shot. She had to have left a while ago. Yet, she stood by her car motionless. She must have been thinking something over as well.

"Hey!" he called, sprinting on all fours.

She snapped back to attention and opened the door of her car.

"Wait! Please!" He tried, weakly, in vain, to close her door before she could get in it.

She relented, "What do you want?"

"I don't know. I'm just winging it. But I'm sorry Eileen and I suck at apologies but do you want to eat at that diner?" Rigby asked as pointed at some random and convenient restaurant across the street.

"That's not a diner, it's a buffet."

"Whatever, pleeeeeeeeeeeease?"

"No."

"I'll pay for it."

Eileen, with arms crossed, relented, "Fine. But you better work up an apology by the time we sit down."

* * *

Eileen sat at the table tapping her foot with a plate in front of her. She finished checking her watch when Rigby sat down with three platefuls of food juggled in his arms.

"Are you really going to eat all that?"

"Uh, yeah?"

She sighed as Rigby began to pig out. "Now that you finished stalling..."

Rigby froze with a clump of noodles sticking out of his mouth. " _mhuuuugh_ , moha', sho-"

"Okay finish chewing first."

"Bu- thatth wha- you asthke foh'"

"Okay-"

"Howh am I inth the wro-?"

Eileen giggled.

Rigby finished and spoke normally, "Okay...Here I go...Apology time...I...Eileen, I'm sorry for acting like a jerk. I just...Everyone kept making fun of me for you." That was a partial lie. Muscle Man and Fives did, but it was Mordecai's acknowledgement that really tipped him off. "I got upset with Mordecai and I just, I wanted to prove them wrong."

"That's better than I expected, honestly. Accepted. So they all thought you liked me but you didn't want to prove them right? That's a little shallow, though."

"Yeah, I know. I get picked on for everything and I just wanted to prove _someone_ wrong for once. So I acted like I didn't like you."

"Do you like me?"

Rigby jumped up in his chair. His cheeks were blushing, "Wha-huh? No. No, not at all. Haha _hehe..."_

"Good. I don't like you either."

"I-Y-You don't?"

"Not like _that_. Honestly, what's so wrong with _this_? We've been friends for years, Rigby. I think you were overreacting a lot."

"I-...Yeah...You're right...Sorry..."

Eileen looked more concerningly, given Rigby's sudden mood change. "You mentioned Mordecai, did you want to talk about him?"

"No, not really."

The conversation dropped off after a moment of silence. Around them, plates clanked together and patrons were laughing or talking. The soft rock music overhead was hardly helping the tension.

"Nice place," Eileen muttered.

"Yeah, I've never been here."

"Then why'd you recommend it."

"I told you, I was winging it."

"Really?" she scoffed, "So you just pointed to some random restaurant hoping to get lucky."

"Yep."

"I think you should start winging it more often; it's better than you're other plan."

They laughed together at that.

"So what now?" Eileen asked.

"What _what now_?"

"I mean what do you wing next on this date?"

"This isn't a date!" Rigby scolded with a smile he tried to hide.

"Hehe, okay. But if this was-"

"It's not-"

" _If_ it was, what comes next?"

Rigby froze. "I don't know, just start talking about BS and get lucky? Impress her-er, you, with my rig-charms!"

"What kind of BS?"

"Well, what's your favorite type of music?"

"Rigby, you already know that."

"I don't care. You asked me what I'd do on my not-date-date, so tell me."

* * *

"And then he said that it was fine, but I know it wasn't fine," Eileen mulled over. The two lay on the roof of Eileen's car. They were in the center of the park. There were no clouds overhead and the stars littered the sky. They both just stared upwards. "I know he doesn't like me going to college and all, but I don't know what else I was supposed to do. 'Hey dad, I really want to do something else with my life, but sure I'll give up and stay at your firm for the rest of my life.' Like what does he want from me, you know?"

"I think you're making the right choice," Rigby replied, "But I can't even get into college, so who cares what I think? But even I can tell you're dad's just an hole."

"He's not a hole. He just loves his work too much. He always imagined having a family business and us all running it."

"Well, did it pay well?"

"Yeah, but that's beside the point. I don't want to punch numbers for someone else's payroll for the rest of my life. I want to design, to do something with my actual brain!"

"Jeez, dad's, right?" Rigby joked.

"Yeah...Mine won't even pay for my college. That's why I picked up so many hours at the cafe."

"My dad didn't _want_ me to go to college. Said I didn't deserve it."

Eileen said, "Your dad sounds like a tough character."

"Yeah...I don't think he likes me. I'm not like my brother."

"I think I'd know that feeling if I had one. Only child."

"Lucky. Plus you'd probably be the favorite. Not me. Dumb, old Rigbone can't do anything with his life. Meanwhile, Don...He's...He's Don."

"What's so special about Don?"

"Take the complete and total opposite of me."

"That's no fun."

"He graduated college at twenty, debt free, owns a house, and is already a manager. How can I compete with that? My dad isn't happy with me and my mom could care less. I''m an average nobody. You have plans, Eileen. Me: I'll probably be stuck here for a while."

"I-I'm sorry, Rigby..."

They both lay back for a while. The moon was bright overhead. Eileen turned and noticed the reflective glimmers on Rigby's face. She heard his light sniffling.

"I can't re-remember, the last time I did anything right in my life. Everything I do always blows up in my face," he cried. "I never do anything right. For once I just want someone to tell me that they appreciate me. Guess what my dad said to me last time I saw him? Nothing."

"Rigby," the raccoon turned to her, "You're smart. And you're strong. And I appreciate you."

He hugged her, "What a shitty date," he joked in between tears.

* * *

Eileen pulled up in front of the park house. "Well, here we are."

"Yeah...Thanks for that. I had fun."

"Me too."

Eileen and Rigby both started to lean in. She closed her eyes, but Rigby hesitated. He leaned back and opened the door. Eileen opened her eyes and felt awkward. They both blushed.

Rigby closed the door and began to walk towards the house. But he stopped, turned around, pointed his finger to her at chest level. "Next time?"

Eileen did not know whether Rigby meant hanging out again next time or that he would man up and kiss her next time. She accepted both of these answers. She smiled and said, "Next time."

Eileen drove off while Rigby stood watching her. "What are you doing Rigby?" he asked himself privately.

Just then, he felt odd. His vision started blurring. His chest was starting to burn. He clenched his chest as he felt as though he was going to collapse.

He realized something. He had left the book in his room the entire night.

Rigby stumbled his way to the house. He could hardly see. His arm was extended to feel where he was going. He tripped up the stairs on the porch. He got back to his feet and shuffled inside. He hugged the wall as he made his way up the steps.

He couldn't breath. Oh God, he couldn't breathe.

He slowly made his way to the room, gasping for breath along the way. He was blacking out.

He entered the room. His heart was racing. "Where the hell is it?" The bathroom.

Rigby headed to where he left the bag in the bathroom. He pulled out the Enchiridion and a wave of relief hit him. He was back to normal.

But he found himself puzzled. "How did I go the entire night without this thing?"

At the time, Rigby was too stupid to put any of the pieces together. He simply put the bag back on.

While he was there, he remembered Mordecai. The Crown. Something deep down told Rigby that he still had it. Granted, Mordecai was a douchcanoe, but he did not want to see him get hurt. He went over to the closet and swore at himself for being so short. He pulled over his trampoline. He jumped on it until he got high enough to grab onto the shelf ledge. He felt around with his hands until he felt a round, metallic object. He pulled it down over his should and dropped it onto the floor.

Rigby picked up the object. It was the Crown. Rigby stood there inspecting it until he felt something again. This feeling was a little late.

"What are you doing?" Rigby turned to see Mordecai staring at him intently.

Mordecai walked over to Rigby and yanked the crown out of his hands. Rigby recoiled from this. Mordecai stared Rigby down before he put the crown back on the shelf and went to bed. Not another word was said.

"Mordecai-?"

"Shut up."

Rigby recoiled. Fine! If he was going to be like that, then Rigby might as well leave. He had his own homework to do.

Whatever powers he got from the book, he picked up one on accident. He headed back to his usual spot in the park where he practiced his magic abilities. But this time, Rigby carried a couple of tennis balls.

Rigby toke a breath and cleared his mind. He took one of the balls, threw it straight into the air, and closed his eyes.

He felt a tingle in his chest and his ear twitched a little. He was turning his head, trying to figure where those feelings were leading him. He lifted his finger and pointed to his right. The ball hit the ground. He opened his eyes to find that he was pointing in the complete opposite direction.

He threw another ball. This time he focused more intently. Something felt odd but he was not entirely sure where it was coming from. His feelings were telling him to turn around. He pointed behind him. The ball once again hit the ground. Rigby opened his eyes to find his hand pointing directly at it.

Rigby continued this practice until he had these feelings almost mastered.

But even before he learned exactly what these hunches were, he felt something odd in the air. Something peculiar. Something right next door but a continent away.

Something seemed off in the world.


	13. Conflict

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mordecai finally confronts Rigby, though not to the outcome either expected.

Mordecai woke up in a sweat again. He was breathing heavily. What the hell was with these nightmares? He looked over to see Rigby staring at him. Mordecai felt awkward.

"You were rambling in your sleep. Are you sure everything is fine?" Rigby asked.

Mordecai stuttered, "Yeah, Just a bad night's sleep, that's all."

Rigby slung his bag on his back. "Okay, just make sure you're ready for work before Benson throws a tantrum."

Rigby left. Mordecai sat alone to his thoughts. He sighed as he wiped the sweat off of his face. His beard was getting longer.

"Why is this happening to me? If it weren't for Simon, him and that damn... book..." Mordecai remembered finally. He never really took the book that morning. If he never took the book then where was it?

It only occurred to him about the bag on Rigby's back.

"Of all the stupid, immature, irresponsible shit Rigby could do..." Mordecai thought to himself. The blue avian forced his way outside, nearly breaking the back door in the kitchen off its hinges.

Rigby was talking to Eileen. Mordecai came over and yelled, "Where is it?!"

"What?" Rigby said, startled by the sudden screaming.

"You know what! Where is the goddamn book?!"

Rigby did not appreciate this sudden flare of temper. Oh no, no no. This would not do. Rigby pulled the Enchiridion out of his sack: "You mean this?" Mordecai instantly reached for it but Rigby pulled it back. "Ah ah ah, finder's keepers." Rigby slyly replied.

"Dude, I am not joking around! Give it back back!" Mordecai now reached again. He had the longer arms and Rigby knew it. So Rigby hugged it to his chest and stepped away from Mordecai.

"What's the magic woooord?" Rigby now said. This was almost like a game to him.

"NOW RIGBY!" Mordecai yelled.

"Jeez, don't go all psycho on me pal!" Rigby said. He was now starting to get angry as well.

"What ever this is about, you two need to stop!" Eileen said as she stepped in between the two.

"This is serious Rigby!" Mordecai said ignoring her.

"Eileen, I think you should go before Mordecai starts to cry again. Maybe he'll cut himself or some stupid depressing bullshit! That's the new Mordecai, right?" Rigby replied.

"Rigby!"

"You are way out of line and you should back the hell off! You have NO idea what that book will do to you!" Mordecai said.

"Like what, that crown you _still_ have?!" Rigby replied. Mordecai felt himself getting hot with embarrassment. "And yes I do know what I'm doing! I can control this. It's not making me into some deranged asshole who almost kills everyone he knows!" Rigby yelled in anger. He rose his arms and pushed Mordecai back on those final words.

Mordecai immediately sent a right hook into Rigby's jaw. This sent Rigby flying to the ground as he started bleeding near the chin.

"You know what Rigby!? How dare YOU of all people! Rigby..." Mordecai sighed as he prepared for the onslaught he was about to commit on Rigby, "You are the dumbest person I have ever met! You get into so much shit that I can't even stand it! You make the same goddamn horrible decisions over and over which ALWAYS ends up forcing ME or Skips or somebody else to risk their lives in order to save your sorry ass! You can't do anything Rigby! You can't hit, you can't play video games, you can't even control your own big mouth! Everyone, EVERYONE, Especially Benson and Pops, thinks you are the most irresponsible person here, hell, _anywhere_! Whatever I've done is nothing compared to the constant dangers you put this park in!" Mordecai snatched up the Enchiridion off the ground. "You know what the worst part of it is? You're too stupid to realize that the only girl on Earth who could possibly like a train-wreck like you is Eileen but you keep pushing her back!"

Rigby was still laying on the ground. His lips were quivering and tears began to fall from his eyes. Mordecai realized what had been said. It was too late though, the damage was done. Eileen was in absolute shock at what had just occurred, too shocked for words even. Mordecai was completely apathetic. It was true, every word of it was true. He smiled to himself and started to walk off.

"AGHHHHHHH" Rigby screamed as he dove straight into Mordecai's back, sending both of them to the ground. Mordecai threw Rigby off of him and stood up. Rigby immediately countered with a right hook straight to Mordecai's face. Mordecai was surprised to find his cheek throbbing and that Rigby had drawn blood.

After Mordecai recovered for a few milliseconds, Rigby attempted a gut punch. However, Mordecai was more prepared and blocked his hit. He sent an upper cut into Rigby's chin sending him sailing onto his back.

Rigby tried to get up but Mordecai grabbed Rigby's shoulders and threw him to the ground. Mordecai knelt with Rigby in between his legs. He sent a right hook into Rigby's cheek, then a left hook into the other side of Rigby's face.

This was going to end horribly unless Rigby did something about it. Rigby could feel from his hunches where the next punch would be. He blocked the Mordecai's right hook and turned his head to see the Enchiridion on the ground next to him. He grabbed it and smashed it against Mordecai's left temple.

Mordecai was now in a daze as white noise filled his ear. Rigby rolled the two of them over. Now Rigby was on top. He sent a right hook flying, then a left. Right, then left. Mordecai tried to get up but Rigby send a punch straight beneath Mordecai's rib cage.

Rigby was now hitting over and over again.

"I..."

Right hook

"am..."

Left Hook

"not..."

Another

"stupid...!"

Rigby's hits were rhythmic, following through to an unheard beat. There was something commanding him, almost, edging him on.

Rigby wound up his right arm but something stopped him.

"Rigby, stop it! Stop it, that's enough!" Eileen yelled. She had grabbed Rigby's arm. Rigby tried to punch Mordecai again, but Eileen held him back again, this time with a stronger grip.

Rigby turned his head and locked eyes with Eileen. They sat there staring at one another. Slowly, Rigby changed his expression from that of anger to that of regret and guilt. The Enchiridion's grip loosened.

Their stare was interrupted by Mordecai's groans. "Oh my God! Mordecai! I'm so sorry!" Rigby said as he turned to his old friend.

Almost the entire left side of Mordecai's face was bleeding and his right eye was purple and swollen. Rigby was apologizing, but Mordecai never heard him. IT was instead replaced with white noise.

Rigby put the book back into his bag on his back. Just then, Benson, Skips, and the others at the park came to investigate the commotion. None of them could believe the scene before them. It was impossible for Rigby, not only to have won _a_ fight, but to have beat Mordecai to a pulp.

No one said anything, they just stared in awe. Rigby just looked at them with guilty eyes. The best thing to do was to walk away before anything got worse. Rigby got up and went into the house, without saying a word.

* * *

Rigby was wiping the blood off of his chin at the sink in the bathroom. It stung with the cold water.

Eileen walked in to check how he was doing. "What happened back there?"

Rigby looked at her reflection in the bathroom mirror. "It's nothing. Mordecai's just on his period."

Eileen didn't believe him. "No, I want to know what he meant by that book!"

Rigby replied, "There is nothing wrong! The book has nothing to do with it. Mordecai is just crazy!"

"Rigby, tell me the truth!"

Rigby turned to her and grabbed both of her arms. "Come back here later tonight," Rigby caught a glance over Eileen's shoulder to see Benson leaning against the doorway to their bedroom. "I think you should go Eileen. I'll see you later."

Eileen hugged him. Rigby was a little stunned but he slowly hugged her back. She left.

With her gone, Benson walked toward his employee.

Rigby spoke before Benson could. "Look, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have gotten angry, I just-"

Benson cut him off. "I'm not here to yell at you," Rigby was shocked, "I just want to know if you're okay. I don't think it's anyone's fault."

Benson knew something was off. True, Rigby was not the best employee...Okay, he was a terrible employee, but he was still _His_ employee. He still had to make sure everything was going alright. He still had made that promise to himself long ago.

"You-You don't?"

"Listen, everyone's on edge lately. If you want to tell me what happened, let me know."

Rigby thought this was a little awkward. Benson was never really a caring type. "Thanks..."

Benson started to walk out of the room, "Oh, uh, Rigby?"

"Yeah?"

"Get back to work, or...you know...you're fired." Benson said before he left.

* * *

Later, Mordecai confronted Rigby. The swelling on his face went down, but the sores were striking and his color was visible even through his blue feathers.

He recited the lines he forced himself to say, "Rigby, I'm sorry for getting angry."

"Forget it ever happened," was Rigby's reply.

They stood motionless, inspecting the other. Mordecai held out his hand in the form of offering a handshake. Rigby shook his hand back. No high fives, no fist bumps, no "Ohh"s. Just silence.

They had an understanding at least in the handshake. Neither of them said it, but each could feel it. They were not going to mention the Crown or the Enchiridion to each other. Mordecai never planned on saying anything. Rigby _was_ going to tell Skips, but he figured Mordecai should make his own damn decisions.

With that, they departed.

* * *

Eileen returned to the park to find Rigby sitting on the porch. She walked up to him, "So what did you want to tell me?"

"I just wanted to get some stuff off my chest, okay?" Rigby looked up at her. She nodded in response. He knew he could trust her. "I just-...I...I always feel like...a loser..."

"What?! Come one, Rigby, you're one of the coolest guys I know!"

"Am I?!" he argued back, "I'm always the one to mess everything up! Since I first came here, I've always been the weakest in the park. Even Pops can box! What can I do?! I just ruin everything...and get my ass kicked..."

"Rigby, you are the last person I would think was weak!"

Rigby remained pessimistic, "How?"

Eileen continued with a smile on her face, "Well, I've seen you do some cool things here! Like what about the park was getting demolished for a highway, didn't you help save the day?!"

"With Mordecai in charge..."

"Or when those zombies attacked, you took out twenty!"

"I was just panicking. I was lucky..."

Rigby was shrugging everything she said off. She said, "What about that pull-up?! I've never seen someone do a pull-up like that before!"

"But you helped me! I wasn't strong enough to do it on my own, or anything!"

"You know Rigby, sometimes strength isn't doing something alone. You went out and got my help when there was the chance I could've laughed at you. And who cares if you're strong, you're a great friend! Margaret and Mordecai never would've started dating if you hadn't done what you did during the meteor shower. Listen, I know you don't like me that way, but to be honest, the past week has been one of the funnest I've had in a while!"

"R-really?" Rigby said as he perked up.

"Heck yeah! And I though you were the best video game player ever!"

"Yeah, well..." he bragged nonchalantly.

"SEE!"

They both chuckled. "Don't go so hard on yourself Rigby, you're one of a kind."

"Thanks...that...that helped..."

Rigby stood as Eileen hugged him. He returned the embrace. Eileen turned her head as she kissed Rigby on the cheek. She knew he would have preferred one closer to his lips.

She walked down the steps and waved to him. He waved back, a smile written across his face.

Yet, once Eileen had left, he felt a wave of dread cycle over him. Nothing she said changed anything.

* * *

Later that night, Rigby vented the rest of his frustration out through the Enchiridion.

He was getting better. Now he was practicing techniques. Flames erupted from every arm stroke. He seamlessly formed plasma almost instantly.

He had a lot to think about. Mordecai, Eileen, the Enchiridion. Though it had no voice or thought, it was his only friend.

He grew more frustrated the more he thought. "I'll show you who's the weak one! Whose the one that messes everything up!" His flames were bigger and brighter now. He finally screamed as he formed a fire ball and lobbed it on the ground. A bright explosion of green fire erupted. He walked over to the flaming mass and formed a shield dome around it. The fire quickly died down from lack of oxygen.

He was getting another hunch. It wasn't too severe, but he could feel it. Oh crap...

Rigby turned around to see Skips right in front of him.

"Rigby! Do you have any idea what you're dealing with?!"

Rigby was cowering at Skips' every word as the yeti marched towards him. "Give me the book!" Skips demanded.

Rigby was about to grab the book, when something shouted out him, " _Don't listen to him, he just wants it for himself."_

"What the hell?" Rigby muttered to himself.

"Rigby, NOW!"

Rigby shook his head no.

Skips picked up his pacing.

"Skips, I can handle it!" Rigby pleaded.

"That thing is too dangerous! Do you even remember what happened to Mordecai?!" Skips said.

"I can control it!"

Skips grabbed onto the Enchiridion. They were both pulling on it separately. Neither side was letting go, "Rigby, let go!"

"NO! You can't!"

"You'll thank me later!" Skips said in between pulls.

"Would you just trust me for once?! No one ever gives me a chance! Trust me, I can handle this!"

There was no truth in Rigby's words. Yet, Skips hesitated. _"Come on Skips, take me from him."  
_

"What?!" Skips felt an inescapable darkness falling inside of him. The book Rigby held cried out for Skips. It wanted a better master. Every fiber of the yeti's body told him to take it! Take it and use it! Skips could see it... He could see him overthrowing the Guardians of Eternal Youth. He could see himself ruling the world. He could even himself taking _him_ on. "That's not me! Stay out!"

He came to. The yeti tried to lunge towards Rigby but felt his own actions were being restrained. All of his will power came against him. His judgement was clouded. He pointed to Rigby, "If you do anything wrong, I'm taking that book off you and burning it."

* * *

The weeks went by as usual. Things almost seemed like normal. However, events outside of their control were coming to a headway...


	14. Stop, Hey, What's That Sound?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Elsewhere in the world, things begin coming to a headway.

A man could be seen being dragged by the arms. There were five guards around him: two dragging him and three with AK rifles aimed at him. The prisoner had a black bag over his head. His arms were behind his back, giving the impression that his hands were tied. He was shirtless and his chest was covered in blood and severe wounds, presumably endured during torture.

The man was dragged until the doors opened and he was in front of a large crowd of people. They were screaming and yelling at this man. None of them could be understood, but it was easy to tell they hated whoever this poor man was.

The camera man was at the side of the platform they were standing on. One of the guards stood forward. He raised his rifle as he spoke to the crowd. Everything he said was in a foreign language. Whatever he was saying was filled with fiery hate.

The guards threw the man onto his knees. The speaker turned back to the prisoner. He raised the barrel of the rifle to the man's head. The crowd was cheering even more than ever.

* * *

The screen cut back to the reporter. He was an older man with gray hair. The MNN News logo was slowly spinning in the corner.

"The video you have just watched was released today by the Iranian government. They claimed that a CIA operative has attempted to sabotage one of their research centers. They claim that this center was strictly used for energy purposes and that this attack was unprecedented. The Iranian government also blames this agent for power failures over the past few weeks in the compound.

"Russian President Demitri Puchkev, has claimed that these supposed attacks were highly uncalled for. He announced the start of a tighter defensive pact with Iran and threatened that Russia will take coercive action if these attacks continue.

"So far there has been no response on this issue from the White House or the Pentagon..."

The television shut off. Secretary John Doe loosened his collar. This was bad.

The President was the only one in the room with him, "What the hell, man? I left this up to you to solve this! You moron! You boob!"

John tried to justify himself, "In my defense, this is the fault of the Director of the CIA. I had no direct control over-"

The President was furious, "Now what are the voters going to think?! That wackjob in the Senate is going to publicize this! Not even a year in and I'm already a ruin! A failure! There's gonna be memes about this, and not the good memes!"

"Sir-?"

"Maybe if I can hold off free-...free...Free something until reelection! But this is baaaad."

There was silence in the room.

The President finally said, "I am not taking any responsibility for this. In one week's time, you will 'resign' from your post. You will take full responsibility for this and that you went behind my back. If you so much as breath a word of this conversation...The last thing I need is to lose Buzzfood...I don't know how I'm going to clean up this mess, but whatever happens is not going to end well..."

* * *

"OOOOOHHHH!"

"Okay! Okay! I get it Thomas!"

Rigby's 8-bit character on screen began to flash once his health bar depleted. Thomas was about to pull off his finishing move. "Come on! Don't make me do this myself!"

"No!"

"Come ooooooon!" Thomas pleaded, arm in the air.

Rigby pouted as he finally put up his arm. When Thomas punched in the combo on his controller, a group of construction workers entered on screen.

"OOOOOHHHH Build a house on that ass, it's an _aaaaaaaass_ tate!" the two dweebs on the couch chanted in time with the digital workers dancing around a puff of smoke until a house replaced Rigby's character.

**PLAYER 2 WINS**

"Ughhh! Whatever!" Rigby groaned as he threw his controller on the couch, "That game is broken anyway!"

"Rigby, don't be like that!"

"BROKEN I SAY!"

Thomas chuckled as Rigby raided the fridge. With a few minutes left in their break, Thomas decided to switch the television back to cable channels. He scrolled through, numbingly ignoring the advertisements and awful cooking shows that flooded the airwaves.

Rigby, whose mouth was covered in chocolate, swung around the doorframe, "Wait! Go back!"

Thomas flipped the channel back one to find a local news station. They were watching the same broadcast from before about Iran. Thomas sat bored while Rigby focuses intently on the broadcast. He never really paid attention to the news. He mostly thought what was on it was unimportant, but this one actually scared him a little. He could not figure out why.

Rigby looked at the couch to see Thomas. One of his knees was shaking and his hands were folded at his chin after the man was shot. "Dude, you okay?" Rigby said. Thomas almost jumped out of his socks.

Thomas calmed down, shaking off what happened. He threw an obvious fake sneeze, "Aww, m-must be that cold."

"Hmm-hmm."

"Rigby, why do you care about the news so much?"

"I-I don't! Nope! It's all a bunch of boring people blabbering about the same stuff every day. Blah blah blah war in Africa blah blah blah shooting in the slums blah blah blah." Rigby replied.

Thomas thought this was odd. "I don't watch the news that much either but that's a bold statement. So if we were about to be nuked, how would you know if you don't watch the news?" he challenged.

"Well everyone else would be running around screaming, so..." Rigby replied shrugging his shoulders. Thomas groaned at this stupid answer.

Mordecai passed through the living room. Rigby backed up to allow Mordecai to pass to the kitchen. Neither of them even looked in each other's directions.

Thomas felt bad for the two of them. For the little time he has been working there, it seemed like those two were the best of friends. "Rigby, what's going on?" Thomas hinted quietly as his eyes darted between him and the kitchen.

"Don't know, don't care. Let's try that broken game again."

"Going for a high score of eighteen consecutive loses?"

"I'll kill you!"

* * *

Mordecai was making another one of his usual trips. So far there was only one thing that seemed to lessen the pain from the Crown: Alcohol. It was never a sound method, but it worked. "Bad habits, just make more bad habits," Mordecai muttered when crossed with this issue.

He parked the cart in McHooligan's parking lot. For a quick second, he checked the rear view mirror. His beard was growing. It was not very long, but it was getting thicker. He sort of liked it.

He walked in and took a seat at the bar. The bartender met him, "What'll it be this time?"

"I think today I'll just have a beer."

The bartender returned with a large cup full of the brownish liquor. He said, "You know, you've been in here almost every day-"

Mordecai interrupted, "I'll drink however I want." The bartender walked away shaking his head.

Mordecai was about to take a drink when he looked in the mirror on the other side of the bar.

The reflection wasn't his own. Mordecai only saw a grim reflection of himself, but far worse. His face was more wrinkly and he could see the snow falling behind him. Mordecai held his beer forward giving a toast to his hallucination before chugging the whole glass.

It hurt going down, burning his throat. His only goal was to drink until everything stopped hurting. The headache he constantly carried lit up again.

When he finished, he looked back at the mirror: only Mordecai's real reflection remained.

"Hey bartender? Can I get another round?"


	15. Round and Round (It Won't Be Long)

Rigby was fatigued. As he stepped out into the hot sun, the lethargy instantly hit him. It was hardly anywhere close to eighty degrees, but Rigby ached and groaned, instantly seeking shade behind a nearby tree. Yet, the heat still tormented him. Rigby slipped down the base of the tree, laying on the ground, completely inactive.

Then the heat began to hurt. He felt his body burn, till what felt like his fur must surely be singed. He groaned louder and louder in agony, but he could was completely immobile. He cringed and struggled to lift himself up, only seemingly sinking further against the grass.

He opened his eyes. Far off in the distance, he saw a bright orange, glimmering dot pirouette through the sky. It contrasted noticeably with the bright blue sky. It was slow and steady, but left a white vapor trail.

Rigby felt a red pit in his stomach. Fear. Anxiety. They teased him. Rigby scrambled to get up, but was anchored against the ground. It was coming closer and closer across the sky. Rigby shielded himself with his arms.

"Rigby!"

"RIGBY!"

The raccoon blinked. His boss stood over him. The red dot was gone.

"This isn't nap time, I told you to mow the lawn an hour ago!"

"A-An hour?" Rigby groaned. "But I've been here for like two minutes."

"No, No. No, you have not! It is already going on two o'clock!"

Rigby stood up against the cool summer air. The heat wave he felt was a distant memory as his fur rustled in the breeze. "I must have lost track of time, sorry Benson," Rigby said nervously with overacted shoulders.

"RGHHRGRHG! Whatever! I have to go find Mordecai anyway. That lawn better be perfect the next time I see you!"

Before his boss stammered off, Rigby asked with intent, "Hey Benson! Did, you, uh, see a like red dot in the sky just now?"

"You better mean the sun."

"No, it, uh...nevermind. I guess I was just staring at the sun too long. You know that thing where you look at something bright and look away and see spots?"

Benson raised his eyebrow before walking away from the awkward raccoon.

* * *

Mordecai shivered as he left the bar. He purchased an extra bottle of bourbon, which he held in a brown paper bag. He aimlessly crept down the street. He intentionally swayed to and fro, trying to emulate what wasn't there. He forced himself to stagger inconsistently. Despite his best efforts, he was completely sober. Nothing was jaded, nor did he feel his mind numbing as it usually does with enough alcohol.

Despite knowing that he would be chewed alive by Benson upon arriving back, Mordecai begrudgingly walked back to the park. Nothing Benson could say would actually affect him or make him feel any sort of guilt or remorse. He only felt an uncontrollable sense of apathy and carelessness.

As he stumbled the small downtown, he felt himself slipping in and out of an ever growing feeling sense of entrapment and frustration. He passed by the coffee shop on his way home, but not before he walked past the coffee shop. On his way towards the coffee shop, he meandered around the coffee shop before making his way past the coffee shop...

* * *

When it was break time, Rigby went over to the snack bar. Thomas was working the register. When he saw Rigby coming, he grabbed two sodas out of the fridge and hopped over the register. He tossed one to Rigby as they took a seat at one of the tables.

Despite whatever filler dialogue Thomas was trying to start, Rigby could only focus on the ringing pain on the side of his temple. Everything said became a blur. He tried to focus back on Thomas and knock himself out of his headache. Maybe he was talking about college or work? Rigby didn't know nor did he pay attention.

"Rigby... Rigby?"

"Huh, what?" Rigby snapped back into the conversation.

"You alright?" Thomas asked concerningly.

"Yeah, I'm just out of it... you ever have those days where just like, you couldn't focus on anything?" Rigby replied. Thomas nodded as he took another sip of his soda.

"So what's got you down?"

"... I don't know man... I just got a lot of stuff on my mind..."

"What kind of stuff?"

Rigby shrugged meekly. "I don't know. Eileen, work, the usual. But I have this really bad headache. I can't help but think about something awful happening."

"Is this the part of the movie where a giant meteor kills everyone after you say 'What could possibly go wrong?!'"

Rigby noticed Thomas's laughter, "Ha Ha Ha. Whatever."

"So what's been going on with you and Eileen?"

Rigby rubbed the back of his neck, "I kind of like her."

"WOW! This is certainly news to me."

"...shut up. Anyway, she was talking earlier about some really important necklace her uncle or someone like that gave her when she was little. She like dropped it into the ocean and her uncle died, so I thought I'd get her one just like it."

The goat nodded, "Not bad, not bad. You think she'll like it?"

"She better! I put like two paychecks into that! While we're talking about 'em, Thomas, you interested in anyone?"

"What?" Thomas asked.

"You know, Chicks! You seeing someone? Got a girlfrieeeeeeeeeend?"

Between juggling a job at the park, college grades, and home life, he never really paid attention to getting a girlfriend. Thomas just shrugged his shoulders and embarrassingly chuckled, "No actually. I never really thought about it. I don't even know the first thing."

Rigby grinned and almost screamed, "DUDE! I'll totally hook you up sometime!"

"Says the guy who doesn't even have a girlfriend!"

"Nu-uh! Did you forget about Eileen?" Rigby replied.

Thomas grinned, "Did you kiss her yet?"

"...Screw you..." Rigby weakly replied as he blushed.

Thomas burst out laughing. Soon Rigby joined in. It was nice really. It was nice having a friend to hang out with. Rigby was just happy Thomas was his friend. He didn't really have any other close friends.

Then he stopped. Rigby felt the pounding return to his head. He strained his eyes shut to block out the pain. His ears howled against a deafening white noise.

"Rigby, you okay?"

Rigby started to walk off, stumbling over chairs and bumping into tables. "I got to go. I just, I think I might be sick."

Thomas just stood there. What just happened...?

* * *

Finn awoke with a startled and deep sense of fear. His shirt was soaked in sweat, though he did not remember having any nightmares. He looked around as his eyes adjusted focus. He was still in the library.

"Finn!"

He quickly turned to meet Turtle Princess, who lumbered over him. "Did you break into the library?"

"Uhhh..." Finn muttered as he glanced back at the books he threw to the ground. "Maybe?" She scowled at him.

Finn was soon hurled out through the library doors and went tumbling down the stairs leading up to it. He groaned as he grabbed for his side, "Who knew turtle princess was so violent."

"I thought I might find you here."

Peppermint Butler sat on the lowest step, looking up at the boy sprawled about the ground. "So you want to find out about the Mushroom War, right?"

Finn slumped down next to him, "Did Bubblegum send you?"

"Nope."

"Jake?"

"Nope. Over time, you just learn to know these things."

"So why are you here? Are you going to give me a lecture or something?"

"Oh heavens no!"

"Then why are you here?"

"I don't know. Why are you here?"

Finn rolled his eyes, "Don't you already know this? I mean, that's why you're here, right? I keep asking everyone and I never get any sort of answer. What about you, P-B? Can you tell me anything about the Mushroom War?"

"Maybe."

"Maybe?"

"I don't know, I wasn't alive for it."

"But you said maybe! What does that mean?"

"I don't know."

"Can't you tell me anything?! Can anyone tell me anything?"

Peppermint Butler seemed to not even register what Finn had said, causing the poor boy to become even more flustered. He asked, "So, what are you looking for, Finn? What is it that you want so desperately?"

"I don't know! I really don't know! And it's not like this is just something that happened last night. I've been feeling this way for a while now and all of a sudden it just exploded into some urge I can't control! I mean, I don't know if I'm looking for a specific person, or a place, or some sort of meaning-!"

"Aha! There it is," Peppermint Butler smiled, "The problem always rears its head. All you really need to do to figure out what is wrong with someone is just let them talk. So, you think by finding out about the Mushroom War, you think it will give your life some sort of meaning?"

"B-But that's not the same thing. I-I'm not..."

"Fine. You're sixteen years old. You're growing up. It's not unusual to feel this sort of lonely claustrophobia."

"I-, well-That's actually a really good way to describe it by the way-...I just don't know if this _is_ normal, or not normal. I'm probably the last human on earth and...I don't know what it means to be human."

"Does this have something to do with Flame Princess?"

"NO! No! Maybe! I really don't know. Every time I try to make the right decision it just blows up in my face. I keep finding myself messing up more than anyone else. There's no one to tell me this. There's no way of knowing. Am I a fluke? Am I abnormal? Or were all humans screw-ups too."

"Ough!" the butler scoffed, "Oh this self-loathing! It's making me physically sick! Of course humans are screw-ups! They were all screw-ups! They killed themselves over a war we know nothing about for peat's sake! It's meaningless! Who cares! They may all be screw-ups, but that doesn't mean you are too!"

Finn cracked a short smile as his eyes welled up. "Thanks PB. I honestly didn't know who else to turn to."

"Not a problem at all! I always love feasting off the melodrama of others." He walked Finn to the door, continuing, "Stop by if you ever need to vent again. Oh and Finn, one more thing before you go."

"Sure, what's up?"

Finn was stunned as Peppermint Butler grabbed Finn and pulled him closer to him. His demeanor changed instantly. "You feel it too, don't you? The eyes peering over your shoulder. Waking up in a cold sweat without knowing why. The chill down your spine every time your back faces the wind and you feel something lurking. You and I are two of the only people who feel this. You know it."

"I don't understand-"

"I'm just saying, Finn, whatever personal problems you have, get them solved. Because I have a feeling that very soon, we won't have time for anything anymore. Whelp, that's it! See you later, you rapscallion you!"

And with that, Peppermint Butler pushed Finn up to his feet. He turned to say goodbye to the little butler, but to his surprise, he was gone. It was though he had vanished into thin air. He stood dazed and delirious as to what on earth just happened. Nevertheless, he walked back to his treehouse feeling more confident than he had before. Yet at the same time, a tingly chill ran up his spine, forcing him to check over his shoulder.

He felt it too.


	16. Paper Moon

_"I thought I told you I didn't want you riding around with me no more," the older con man said to the little nine year old girl after she had left her new family to chase after his truck. They stood eye to eye on the dirt road._

_The little girl shifted her eyes to a glare and said, "You still owe me 200 dollars." The man, in a mix of both joyful relief and reluctant frustration, threw his hat on the ground at the realization of being saddled with this girl again. Their reunion was cut short as the old truck began rolling down hill and they both chased after it._

As the old jazz started once the credits began rolling, Rigby thought this was a rather cute ending for the film Eileen had insisted on watching. Yet, the movie only took up part of his attention. As he sat on the couch, Eileen had fallen asleep leaning against him. The raging headache that pounded him earlier that day had strangely passed once he sat down with her. Just being next to her, he felt his heart pound with a nervous anxiety.

"H-hey," he said.

"Mhmm..." Eileen stirred, "Aww, I missed my favorite part. What did you think of it?" She spoke very sheepishly as she rubbed her eyes. Just as it seemed she would get up off the couch, she snuggled back against Rigby's arm.

"Okay, I'll admit, it's not as bad as I thought. I really liked it."

"Even without any explosions?"

"Even without any explosions or car chases or ninjas."

Eileen giggled softly. She closed her eyes again. Rigby blushed and rubbed the back of his neck. "Y-You might as well just sleep here at this point. I-I MEAN you're gonna fall asleep if you keep your eyes closed and I'll be sleeping and- _hwooow,_ " Rigby groaned in embarrassment. Eileen just giggled some more.

"Yeah...I probably should be going," Eileen admitted, "My shift starts early tomorrow."

"Yeah..."

Yet, they both waited for the other to move. They were locked against each other on the couch as the TV flickered and turned to static. "Y-You should probably leave."

"Are you kicking me out already, Rigby?"

"Ye-I-NO, I... _Arghh_ , why is this so haaaaaard?"

"I'm just teasing, Rigby."

After another moment of waiting for the other to act, Rigby muttered, "Five more minutes."

* * *

"I had a lot of fun tonight, Rigby," Eileen said as she walked with Rigby to her car..

"Well...who said it was over?" Rigby replied nervously. Eileen seemed a little confused. He sprinted ahead of Eileen and got into her driver's seat. "Come ooooon! We don't have all night!"

"Can you even drive?"

"Don't worry, I watch movies. I know how these things work."

Eileen grinned with anticipation as she climbed into the driver seat. "And no peaking!" Rigby said somewhat sternly. "I want this to go right."

The car bumped along the park grass, to which Rigby groaned at the idea of how hard Benson would yell at him for it. Eileen could hardly sit still as she nervously fiddled with her hands. Rigby could only think of what she might say or do. Would she laugh at him? Probably not. Though, he could not help but think that "This is the corniest thing I've ever done in my life..." _  
_

After about five minutes, Rigby parked the car. "Keep your eyes closed," he said as he opened the door. He ran around to the passenger door as he helped Eileen out. She still had her eyes closed.

"...okay... Open!"

Eileen opened her eyes and gasped at what she saw. It was the lake, but with the moon over it at such an angle that the whole lake seemed to be glowing. The tips of the nearby trees glimmered with light from the moon.

"Rigby, this is...," Eileen said as she walked over to the lake, her eyes glowing with delight.

"Do you li-"

"...Breathtaking."

"Good. I got the idea from Muscle Man, believe it or not. There was this bet we had with Mordecai and if he lost he had to-you-know-what-who-cares. I thought it would be the perfect place."

"The perfect place for what?" she said, slyly.

"The perfect place for-, aww dangit! I-I'll be right back." Rigby had left his now regular red bag in Eileen's car. He reached in and pulled out a small rectangular box. Before leaving, he reached into his bag and pulled out a pack tic-tacs, popped two into his mouth, and then ran over to her.

"Here, girls like this kind of cheesy crap." He was blushing as Eileen took it from him.

As she opened it she covered her mouth as she gasped. It was a silver chained necklace with a red gemstone on the end of it.

"Rigby... this is..."

Rigby guessed what her next question was going to be, "Well I thought this would make up for me never paying. Hehe...heh...Well, I know it's not the same one your uncle gave you but, hey, it was worth a shot. Do you like it?"

She grabbed Rigby's shoulder and pulled him in. His lips pressed against Eileen's. And suddenly, everything went silent. Rigby felt his heart pound against his chest. Everything else simply melted away.

His warm embrace was cut short. His head began to pound as a terrible migraine worked its way into his temples.

His sudden joy and relief was replaced at once by an untouchable sense of fear. His hands tensed. He had never felt so afraid, so exposed, in his entire life. It was as though he could hear terrible screaming, but only in his head. He felt a thousand vengeful eyes judging him from everywhere at once.

Then, worst of all, there appeared two hollow, green eyes staring back at him from the black depths of his closed eyelids. Rigby opened his eyes reluctantly. Like a stain, they stayed, looking at him; mocking him. Never had such a sense of fear and cowardice taken hold of him.

All at once, he felt a piercing ringing at the back of his neck and then, a cold feeling. A feeling of death.

Rigby pulled back from the kiss. He was panting and sweating. "I-I'm sorry, I can't do this..." he chocked out as he sat on the brink of tears. "I can't, I... I'm sorry. I got to go..." He ran off at once.

Eileen was confused by all of this. "Rigby, wait!" She screamed as she was left alone. Rigby did not turn to look behind him. If he had, he would have seen the confused, disheartened mole beginning to cry, thinking everything was her fault.

Rigby was wiping his tears as he was running. "What the hell is wrong with me?!" he screamed to himself. His head felt numb as his chest tightened.

He was not in range of either Eileen or the Enchiridion now. His vision was starting to blur. Rigby barely managed to make into the house and ran up to his room. All at once, his body was relieved by the comfort of the Enchiridion. However, it could not heal his emotions.

He ran to the bathroom, desperately trying to calm himself down. He took a handful of water from the sink and splashed it into his face. He was breathing heavily over the sink. Eventually, the crying wore down.

He slowly walked back into the room. Thank God Mordecai was not there. Rigby turned his attention to the book. It was sitting on his trampoline, fully exposed. The red bag was lying tossed to the side next to it.

Rigby grew angry at the book as he believed it was causing all this stress and heartache. Though, he soon began to blame himself. It was simply a book, after all. Yet, he could not help but think of how odd it was that the book was just sitting there. He never took it out of the bag. He also wondered how on earth he forgot to bring it with him.

He blinked and found himself underneath the makeshift covers on his trampoline. He did not remember what he was last thinking about, but all he felt was the terrible guilt for acting out in front of Eileen. With a heavy heart, he quickly fell asleep.

* * *

Gunshots were ringing out behind him. Rigby felt a cold, dark emptiness around him.

One of the bullets hit Rigby in the back and he fell upwards. He was on his feet. Eileen was there. Her back was facing him, and she was crying. Rigby tried to walk towards her but he was being pulled backwards. No matter how hard he tried to run, he only moved back until she faded completely.

He stood atop a hill looking down over the city. In the blink of an eye, a massive fireball consumed it. The blinding light overwhelmed everything around the raccoon. From the cover of his arms, he looked back at the source of the blast. The wave of fire was coming straight towards him, burning everything in its path. The shock wave ripped through his body, lifting him off his feet.

Rigby screamed as he fell through the ground. Everything around him was dark. He was falling through a pitch blackness

He hit the ground with a loud, echoing _thud._ Rigby slowly got up. There was mirror in front of him. Rigby's reflection was staring back at him. His reflection made an evil smirk as it started to laugh. His reflection put its arms down at its sides and created a fireball in each hand. The reflection was growing and changing.

It was morphing into a large demonic creature. It had a torn skull for a head with deep black pits and single green pupils for eyes. It had two distorted horns, each on the side of its head. Its arms were bony and it wore a large cloak.

It stepped outside of the mirror and was looking down on Rigby. It raised its arm, fireball still in hand, and brought it down on Rigby. Rigby screamed, closed his eyes, and waited for his inevitable destruction.

* * *

Rigby jolted forward from his trampoline, dripping with sweat. Tears streamed down from his eyes. His breathing was heavy and his hands were shaking.

It finally hit Rigby: these were not just visions or hallucinations, these were warnings. Something terrible was going to happen here. Something unlike anything anyone had ever seen before in their lives.

"Oh shit...Oh shit...! What the hell should I do?!" Rigby became frantic. A million thoughts raced through the little raccoon's head.

One thing was sure. A deep impulse, almost migraine inducing, convinced him that whatever terrible event was to take place, it would be today.

A smarter man could have thought more rationally. A smarter man would probably have realized all of this sooner. Rigby was no smart man. He had no idea what he should be doing.

"Come on, think Rigby! Think! What do all they do in all those survival TV shows!" Rigby decided to pack. But pack for what? Without even rationally thinking, he opened his bag and frantically random clothes in it. What else should he bring? What could he use? He tossed around random objects on his side of the room.

Mordecai finally woke up. He hazily looked around the room to find Rigby holding a tennis racket in his hands, questioning its usefulness. "Rigby, what the hell are you doing?"

A selfless man would warn his friend, despite their fighting. A moral man would have done the same.

Rigby did not turn towards Mordecai. "Packing" was his response as he tossed the racket away.

"Wha- packing for what?" Mordecai asked as he wiped his eyes.

Rigby figured there was not else he could use in their room. He turned to Mordecai, "If I'm right... everything we know is going to end. Today." At this note Rigby picked up his pack and left the room.

What Rigby said scared Mordecai a little. He never really _believed_ Rigby on something serious, but the whole ordeal left him shaken.

* * *

Rigby was frantically listing things in his mind on what to pack. "Okay okay okay, I need food, water, first aid stuff, clothes: check, camping stuff? Do I need like tents or...Oh come on, think Rigby! I need... need... a gun"

Such a simple revelation. It spoke to him from the depths of his mind. It hung there for some time. Yet, Rigby would need a gun. He figured that whatever was going to happen, he would need a way to protect himself. However, he had his magic. It was all he really needed. Yet something pried at him to get a gun. And there was only one place he could get it.

Rigby sighed. He hated the thought of it. But he needed a gun, and he needed to warn _him_.

He came up with a simple, albeit scatterbrained, plan of action. He would stop by _there,_ come back to the house, get the rest of his supplies, warn everyone at the park, then get Eileen.

Rigby ran out of the house, bag still on his back, and hopped into one of the carts. Rigby drove off, heading to Don's house...


	17. Demon Host

Would he believe Rigby? He didn't think so...but after all, he was family. Even if Rigby hated his living guts, he was family. And family looks out for each other. That, and he had something Rigby wanted.

Rigby drove the cart into Don's drive-way. His brother had a VERY nice house, it almost qualified as a mansion. It was a white, pristine, spacious house with had a pool, a basketball court, and a large 3 car garage. It was out in the woods; not exactly secluded, but not exactly isolated. It was about three miles away from the park, but it was still out of range of the buzz of city or suburban life. It was a paradise home, which Don unintentionally bragged about to Rigby, sometimes a little too much.

Rigby parked parallel to Don's red convertible. He left the Enchiridion in the cart and rang Don's doorbell.

"Rigby? Wha-what are you doing here?" Don asked, joyfully surprised by his brother's appearance as he opened the door.

"Don, I need my .45 back." This took Don at a shock for a second.

"Sure, bro, just give me a minute, come on inside." Rigby hated going to his brother's for any sort of favor. And the interior of his house didn't help. The front door opened to a gorgeous living room with an italian sofa and an inlaid table. Rigby could not help but feel himself seethe with jealous anger.

"Well, here it is. Just as you left it," Don said as he handed a small brown box to Rigby. He opened it to check its contents. Inside was Rigby's old M1911, a gift from his uncle on his twenty-first birthday that he left with Don once he started working at the park. He remembered how Don had still been a better shot than him; it was just another thing he was better at.

"Rigby, what's all this about?" Don asked. He noticed something was off about Rigby ever since he stepped in the door. "I though Benson didn't allow you to have guns. Did something happen?"

"Don, listen...I think something terrible is coming. I-I can't explain it, it's just that I've had this weird feeling lately. I just wanted to let you know that, j-just in case, you know, I'm right for once." He cringed as he tried to explain himself. Of course, everything said sounded far-fetched and downright stupid. Rigby began to walk out of the house into the drive-way.

Don was taken back by this sudden announcement. "Rigby, what's going on? And 'For Once'? Bro, what are you talking about?" Don said as he followed his older brother.

"I, I don't know exactly." Rigby admitted.

"Listen, I heard what happened between you and Mordecai. I know you're probably paranoid and stressed, but I just want you to know I'm here for you," Don said.

"No, stop! Stop patronizing me!" Rigby nearly screamed in frustration before calming down, "I'm just trying to tell you what I know. You just need to get ready for whatever's coming. That's what I'm doing," Rigby replied back.

"So, uhm, what exactly do you want me to do about it? Why don't you come inside, I could get you something to calm you down."

"Stop doing that!"

"Doing what-?"

"Stop judging me like that! Why can't you ever just take me seriously for once?!" Rigby was in the range of the Enchiridion now. He was infuriated by what he heard. His hatred for his brother grew every second.

"I do take you seriously, bro."

"No you don't! And I'm not your _'bro'_! All anyone in this family ever does is judge me and make fun of me and make me feel like the stupidest person ever!"

Don tried again to calm him down, "When have I ever said that? I'm just trying to figure out what's up with you. I care about you?"

"Do you? All you ever do is care about that rich ego of yours. God forbid your six figure salary keep you from shitting all over your younger brother like everyone else does! You act so high and mighty all the time and you look at me as if I was the biggest retard on the planet, and you know what? I've always wished I was an only child and-..." Rigby stopped himself after that last line.

"Rigby..." Don muttered.

"Don-...I-I'm..." Don's face showed how betrayed he felt.

Don just looked at him calmly and said "I don't know what I expected from you. I have tried being nice to you all these years, I have tried to be your brother, and this is what I get? You don't even know I exist! You've never once visited me because you wanted to, it's always just something for yourself." Rigby turned away at this point, heading back to the cart, tears forming in his eyes. "Just go on, walk away like you always do..." Don said as tears of his own welled.

 _"You don't hate me Rigby,"_ Rigby heard, _"You're just angry at the fact that everyone hates you and loves me, especially mom and dad..."_

Rigby snapped. The pounding headache returned, more menacing than ever. He chest shivered with fear, loathing, and powerful, welled up anger.

His hands began to burn up. His hands emitted their notorious green flames. But Rigby didn't do that, in fact, someone else made him. Rigby wasn't even in control of his actions any more. The Enchiridion emitted a pulsating green light from the back of the cart, until it began to ignite into green flames.

Rigby turned, fists drenched in vengeful, green flames, and slammed his arms downwards towards the ground.

Rigby caught his breath and opened his eyes and found himself drowning in a sea of darkness. Yet, he looked down and saw his own breath. Unknown to Rigby, he found himself inside a different realm sustained by a dark creature. Rigby could hear a faint, muffled explosion which seemed to come from everywhere at once, followed by a terrifying, ear-piercing screaming which engraved itself forever more into Rigby's brain. A ghastly pair of green eyes lingered, watching him.

Suddenly the world was shifting back to reality, unfortunately.

When he opened his eyes, he saw the Enchiridion floating in the air in front of him. Its fire dimmed out as it fell to the ground. Behind it was Don's house, reduced to a burning pile of rubble and ashes. And there, laying on the ground just feet away from Rigby, was Don's burned body.

"DON!" He ran over to his remains. His M1911 lay nearby. The tears were coming quickly now. Looking over his fallen brother, he hysterically muttered "I'm sorry." He was too shaken for any other words. He just screamed it over, and over, and over.

He sobbed over the corpse of his brother. "Why did I have to get so angry?! What the hell is wrong with me?!" he thought to himself.

_"What have you done?"_

Rigby reeled back, falling to the ground and crawling away from the demonic book. There was no mistaking a passing thought in his head or another whistle of the wind.

_"Well, I suppose I cannot hold my silence any longer."_

Rigby felt such anger, such rage at this _thing_ for what it had done to his brother. Yet, his horror and mysticism could only let him meekly reply, "Who are you?"

_"In time, Rigby. Though, I do not think it would be appropriate to get too ahead of each other. There's something more pressing on the horizon."_

Police sirens could be heard in the distance...

Rigby didn't have time to stay any longer, he looked over his brother one last time, Don's blank eyes seemingly staring right into Rigby's soul. Rigby would never forget those eyes.

The cart was destroyed, he had no choice to go out on foot. It was at least three miles from Don's to the park and he felt it would be best to avoid any main roads. He would have to be fast. Rigby headed off, but not before he remembered something. He was stopped in his tracks.

_"You will not survive the day. You will have to trust me. For now, at least."_

What was previously just an outlet for escapism, the Enchiridion had proven how dangerous it really was. Yet, he knew he needed it. Rigby ran back, grabbed his gun then the book before running off into the woods.

The Enchiridion's job was done. It had accomplished what it sought out for: a host.

The plans were made, the stage was set, the acting parties in their places, and an unimaginable evil was already unraveling.

Let the show begin...

**Author's Note:**

> On my Fanfiction.net account, I am approximately 3 parts, 48 chapters, almost a dozen dead characters, and 150,000 words into this series. However, I wanted to wait until I began proofreading my earlier, more cringeworthy chapters before posting this here.
> 
> Let me know what you think so far and how I can improve, as I am in the midst of editing the entire series.


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